Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
Author is claiming that one should start exercising at an early stage, it builds a foundation for a person’s health. Passage above provides several evidences as to why the food chain Nature’s way will be a hit in Plainsville. Since, the citizen of Plainsville are more inclined towards the exercise classes, parents will encourage children to follow their path as well.
However, the passage above fails to mention the reason why children will be as active as the current population. There are several unstated assumptions, which, if warranted, would significantly weaken the argument.
First of all, it is being considered, that Plainsville’s population is same as other areas, which may not be entirely true. Perhaps, citizen of Plainsville, think that the food in Nature’s way are preserved with chemicals and are not much interested, and rather prepare everything from the source itself. Also, maybe there was a sale in health clubs in Plainsville, which encouraged, citizens to purchase the health equipment, and join the classes, and the time when the data is collected that the aerobics and weight training classes are almost full, is the very beginning of the month, which is bound to decline as the month pass. Now, if the author is takes all this into consideration, it will positively make the argument more effective.
Moreover, the claim that Plainsville merchants report that the sales of exercise clothes and the running shoes are on all-time high, this doesn’t warrant few factors. Maybe the advertisements encouraged people to purchase exercise equipment which may not be the case always. Perhaps, the people of Plainsville have been suffering with obesity and doctors recommended citizens to have a healthy lifestyle, due to which the aerobic and weight training classes are full. This does not guarantee that people will purchase food, or health related products from Nature’s way. Also, it is possible that lot of competition is already present in Plainsville, which will strongly hamper the claim.
Furthermore, author also assumes that children will definitely take part in health programs, and the Nature’s way food chain will be a hit in future as well. But, here are some unwarranted assumptions which may question the author’s claim here. Maybe children are much more inclined towards studies than fitness programs. It will falsify the assumptions that children of Plainsville will take part in fitness for life program. Perhaps, the children are more likely to leave the town of Plainsville, in search of better career opportunities, and the program fitness for life may not be as huge as anticipated. These aforementioned assumptions, if acknowledged will definitely make the argument a valid one.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is flawed, if the assumptions mentioned above are taken into consideration, the argument will be much more effective.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2362 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.102 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.771 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 138 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.048 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.712 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.505 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.051 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 273, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[3]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
...ise equipment which may not be the case always. Perhaps, the people of Plainsville hav...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, well, as to, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2483.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 462.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.37445887446 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05304162042 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495670995671 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 755.1 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.5671744343 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.238095238 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.90476190476 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165872488423 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0552061492765 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0674050528262 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0918743065317 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0461538859113 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.