People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor’s prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective.
The argument states that as the Cold away is being used much longer than Coldex that is fair enough to the patients to trust in this medication rather than the other. However, this argument is rife with several holes. First, it is not necessairly because Cold away medication is been used more longer that the other medication, that guarantees that it is more safe. Second, the author doesn’t metione how many people who complain about the side effect of each? Thus, the author should answer the following questions to make his argument more convincing
To begin, the author cited that each medicine has a side effect, Colaway causes drawsiness. However, Coldex causes high blood pressure. The author relied on his conclusion on the period that Colaway has been used; but he overlooked that the long time in using medication not the only factor which indicate the medicine safety. For example, if the Cold away cause liver problems or cuases fat accumulation on the patients’ liver this will not appear as soon as the patient take the medicine. Drawsiness that resulted from Cold away medicine could be from such liver problems which is significant. Besides, the author doesn’t clearly metioned how long each have being used? This comparison is important to display whether the difference in the using period is significant ot not? As it could be just a short time differ from one to anothor which is not the factor that will give us a big picture of their saftey as the author said. Therefore, if the above is correct that means the author doesn’t suceed to persuade the reader by his argument.
Secondly, if we believe in that Cold away medicine is more safe, the author should provide is with more information about how many people are complaining about each medicin? The number of people who complained is improtant to idntify whether it is remarkable or not. Moreover, where is the data which indicate the correlation bbetween each medicine and its side effect. Coldex as mentioned well known that is cause high blood pressure, the author should mention this medicine from whom? Which age is using this medication. As is well known that the people who is 50 or above is more prone to high blood pressure complians which is not related to the medicine at all. If the above scenario is valid, that means the conclusion drawn in the original argument is remarkably flawed.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands above is significantly flawed. The author reliance on unwarranted assumption and incomplete information make his argument doesn’t hold water. The author should provide answers to the mentioned questions to make this argument more persuasive or at least make it feasible to be evaluated.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 18 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 460 350
No. of Characters: 2199 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.631 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.78 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.46 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.215 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.696 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.312 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 291, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'longer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: longer
...cause Cold away medication is been used more longer that the other medication, that guarant...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'beginning'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: Beginning
...s to make his argument more convincing To begin, the author cited that each medicine ha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 703, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...being used? This comparison is important to display whether the difference in the...
^^
Line 3, column 138, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...h more information about how many people are complaining about each medicin? The ...
^^
Line 3, column 279, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ther it is remarkable or not. Moreover, where is the data which indicate the cor...
^^
Line 3, column 492, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...should mention this medicine from whom? Which age is using this medication. As is wel...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, however, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well, at least, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 13.6137724551 191% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2263.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 456.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96271929825 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55708054901 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453947368421 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 711.0 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.3794965201 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.3913043478 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8260869565 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.69565217391 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162444122459 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0495086152157 0.0743258471296 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0464541729915 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105894412453 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495427297712 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.