Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
According the excerpt Pirouettes Ballet School is presented as the best school with few points, but these points are not sufficient to conclude that it is the best school. To bolster my opinion, I am going to explain few lacunes in this whole piece of information for the school.
At first, the author of this information did not mention any kind of statistical information about the student's placement in top-notch dance companies, even though author classified them as top dance companies but does not mention the name of any single company. Hence it undermines this statement of the author. Also, how many number or percent of students excelled in their field of performing dance is also missing. It may possible for us to consider that, students enrolled in the school and were not trained upto the mark to stand out in this competition era. May be students trained from this school are not trained to identify their individual's strengths and best moves, which plays a crucial role in the field of arts and dance.
Secondly, the author did not mention about the fee structure for the program. Also, nothing is said about the fellowships or financial-aid programs, which are necessary for a certain group of people in the society. As, it may be possible that, fee is very high for a single program and only elite group of people are able to join this school, on the other hand, students who are not able to afford this huge fee will not be able to learn this art, hence instead of eliminating the barriere of indifference from society, this school is increasing its height. As a result, it is discursive from the sole purpose of any school.
Thirdly, according to the author of this information the teachers in this school are professional dancers, who performed for top companies. Now noteworthy point is that, author didnot highlighted any name of famous dancer in this school whose experience will definitely play an important role for students. It might be a possibility that teachers were performed for top companies but not as main dancer but as a side dancer, also they might be here for financial reasons and ease of their life. So it raises a question of concern if teachers are not much capacitated enough, what they will impart to the students. Along with this, just by mere mentioning that teachers belong to top companies is not sufficient enough to present the prestige of the school, as these teachers might be dancers and did not have experience of teaching, as we all know that, teaching is entirely different from knowledge. A knowledgeful person is not necessarily a good teacher. Hence, nothing is mentioned about their teacher training or any workshop which might have equipped them for proper efficient teaching.
Fourth, the author said the curriculum as "intensive", but the word itself is not sufficient enough to get the idea for content. The Author should have mentioned the practice sessions, students part in live shows, students performance evaluation criteria. All of such points are missing from the given piece of information. Also, the duration of course and type of degree students will receive is entirely missing from the excerpt.
Finally, one should consider the above mentioned points before getting themselves in this admission process of this school. on the basis of just verbal information, we cannot trust about it, data plays a crucial part as a supplemnt for infrma
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 575 350
No. of Characters: 2777 1500
No. of Different Words: 257 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.897 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.83 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.603 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 203 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.145 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.739 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 104, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...nd of statistical information about the students placement in top-notch dance companies,...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 264, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...mention the name of any single company. Hence it undermines this statement of the aut...
^^^^^
Line 21, column 125, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: On
... this admission process of this school. on the basis of just verbal information, w...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, as to, kind of, of course, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 28.8173652695 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2875.0 2260.96107784 127% => OK
No of words: 575.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89685180668 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75063147931 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 270.0 204.123752495 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469565217391 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 861.3 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.7632902512 57.8364921388 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.791666667 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9583333333 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.75 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.216338100017 0.218282227539 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0629131428756 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0386748625362 0.0701772020484 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113025130369 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0425363626863 0.0628817314937 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 98.500998004 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.