A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author of the argument attempts to bridge the birth order to the individual’s levels of stimulation regarding the hormone Cortisol’s secretion. However, the author’s premises seem to be tenable and rational at first glance, more scrutiny shed light on its weakness, and it turns out to be untenable in some ways which as follows.
The first flaw that could be taken from this study is that the number of population is 18 and it likely could not meet the requirement of such a statistical study. The sample size seems small in size, and it may lead to wrong results. Furthermore, the author disregards any explanation about how these 18 monkeys have been selected for the study. Maybe, if there were a bigger population at hand, it could decry the drawn conclusion of the study as mentioned earlier. To put it in a nutshell, the circumstances and details around the survey should be contemplated, and sufficient sample size exists for such studies.
Another weakness of the argument that arises from the fact that the individual’s level of stimulation strictly caused by hormone Cortisol. It may sound rational to think that there are some other heralds regardless of the hormone Cortisol. In plain English, another study should be undertaken so as to correlate the level of hormone Cortisol with the individual’s levels of stimulation. If there is, it has to refute the effect of any potential herald that could lead to individual’s levels of stimulation. All in all, it should be proven that the Cortisol’s concentration has a direct relationship with the individual’s level of stimulation.
The third reason that could be considered to refute the argument and regard it as a questionable claim is that the Cortisol’s level might be escalating due to the stress that the first-time mothers deal with it since they had not any similar experience before. However, it does not approve that the first child undoubtedly has the higher level of stimulation. Maybe the mother who had the third pregnancy has stress with the different root (e.g., poor economic condition) regardless of pregnancy’s tension. Hence, it seems that the matter does not correlate with the order of the pregnancy.
Having scrutinized all the premises, a plausible conclusion that can be drawn is that the birth order and the individual’s levels of stimulation do not have a remarkable correlation. So the argument seems untenable as there are some questions, having been ignored by the author while the answer of could add to the logic of each premise.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 421 350
No. of Characters: 2064 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.53 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.903 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.807 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.417 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 187, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: small
...tatistical study. The sample size seems small in size, and it may lead to wrong results. Furt...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 299, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ish, another study should be undertaken so as to correlate the level of hormone Cortisol...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
e.g., first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, regarding, so, third, while, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2172.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17142857143 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.2427697352 2.78398813304 116% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466666666667 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 666.9 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8290731629 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.666666667 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3333333333 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.72222222222 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189956102277 0.218282227539 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0653912860421 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.05242246157 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101758622264 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0382470606756 0.0628817314937 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.09 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.