"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can ın plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the preceding explanation the author tries to make a connection between organisms birth order and their level of stimulation by showing three noncomplementary studies on first born monkeys, first born human and first-time pregnant mothers as an evidence. He fallaciously claims that each organism in the studies have shown a higher cortisol level therefore first borns show a higher level of stimuli. However, study methodology is highly ambigous, sample size is inadequate and there is barely a connection between studies which makes the claim susceptible to several interpretations.
First of all, birth order is not the only difference between the studied monkeys. Considering the siblings, their differences in level of stimuli might be arising from the age differences. If cortisol is something that increases with age, deducting that birth order affects stimuli level substantially is wrong. To make the explanation more sound, the siblings cortisol level should have been measured when they were at the same age and recorded. If they are still not the same than at least we can rule out the possibility of age difference but still there is a long way to vindicate authors claims.
Secondly. The sample size is narrow to make such a gigantic argument. We need to test more monkeys and also design the experiment in a way that accounting for the differences of the monkeys. If they have a specific background, experience or a different origin they might be producing relatively higher cortisol levels. Study must be conducted on a larger sample size so that the other factors affecting the cortisol level can be differentiated. As it stands, higher level of cortisol level aftermath of a fearful stimuli during the experiment can be triggered by a past fearful experience of the monkey in the question.
Finally, the author shows fist time mother monkeys as an evidence however fails to make a connection between his claim. He overlooks the fact that high cortisol level of first time mother could have been transmitted to the blood of the first born children. Which will disappear as the monkey ages.
To conclude, there are many possible explanations fit well with the presented evidence if the author fails to make the connections between the arguments and explains the mechanisms behind the studies.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1903 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.061 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.816 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.875 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 353, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'siblings'' or 'sibling's'?
Suggestion: siblings'; sibling's
...To make the explanation more sound, the siblings cortisol level should have been measure...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 602, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a long way to vindicate authors claims. Secondly. The sample size is narrow to m...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 514, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'stimulus'?
Suggestion: stimulus
...f cortisol level aftermath of a fearful stimuli during the experiment can be triggered ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, well, at least, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1950.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 376.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18617021277 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89111280876 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505319148936 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 606.6 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1295208249 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.705882353 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1176470588 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.70588235294 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181252136073 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0638163378184 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0475789132752 0.0701772020484 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0974412423489 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0502113213569 0.0628817314937 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.