A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.
The given argument has reached a conclusion which asks the city government to devote more money to the recreational activities of the Mason River. There are various unstated facts in this argument which should be analyzed without reaching such a conclusion in a hurry.
To begin with, the term "surveys" is mentioned vaguely, the time, year, number of people participated, age group of people, none of this is mentioned. For all we know, this could be a survey of only 10 people amongst the whole citizens. So accepting the author's assumption of water sports being the favourite recreational activities of all the residents can be refuted.
Later, the author mentions that Mason River is rarely used for water sports and city department doesn't devote enough money for the same. Here, the author assumes that the Mason River is completely suitable for water sports to carry out. He is not taking into consideration the depth of the river, the condition of the water bed, or the presence of dangerous sea animals like crocodiles in the river. If anyone of the mentioned is true, even if the government devotes money for these recreational activities, it's going to be in vain because such conditions will put the lives of the residents in jeopardy which no one wishes to happen.
Moving forward, the author mentions the complaints from residents about the quality of river water and its smell for years. Here the author assumes, that the complains are being made by the citizens to clean the river and start water sports activities. For all we know, this could be a general complaint to maintain a hygienic environment. Relating the cleaning of the river, with an expectation of increasing water sports activities is illogical.
Finally, I would like to state that, the author should go about the facts and actual conditions and feasibility of the river to carry out water sports, take a complete and detailed genuine survey of all the residents and then present his proposal to the government with facts and figures and a plan. Expecting the government to devote money without having detail information will lead to loss of national funds as well as time and efforts of the people who will work for this to carry out.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 377 350
No. of Characters: 1801 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.406 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.777 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.577 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.133 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.105 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.364 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 264, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...st the whole citizens. So accepting the authors assumption of water sports being the fa...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 97, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ed for water sports and city department doesnt devote enough money for the same. Here,...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 508, Rule ID: IT_IS[19]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...oney for these recreational activities, its going to be in vain because such condit...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, if, so, then, well, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1856.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 376.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93617021277 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72445853098 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505319148936 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 577.8 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.5336134447 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.733333333 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0666666667 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.6 5.70786347227 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.023650445702 0.218282227539 11% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0110477412692 0.0743258471296 15% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0251269715279 0.0701772020484 36% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.015074317898 0.128457276422 12% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0111982773806 0.0628817314937 18% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.