A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
According to author, the children living in the Himalayan region of Nepal are less prone to tooth decay compared to the children living in suburban region of United states. Thus, the author has made the conclusion that regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay of the people of United States. I strongly disagree with the author's view as he has provided with the required evidences to prove his point valid.
Firstly, he has compared the data of Himalayan region of Nepal and Suburban area of United States. Comparison made by him is both irrelevant and inadequate. As he is comparing different countries, different countries will have varying climatic conditions which will have an impact on the tooth decay of children. In addition he has compared to different lifestyles of the countries. Every lifestyle has different quality of food intake and different variety of food intake will lead to different effects on the tooth. Some food might be more harmful than others.
Also, the author didn't take in account the different in toothpaste which the citizens are using, the varying brushing habits of the children in the two countries and the varying food habits of the citizens. Thus, the information is incomplete and cannot be considered as the valid statement in favor of the conclusion stated by the author.He should have provided more deep information for the same.
Secondly, the author has given information about the professional dental care provided to the people of Nepal and United States. Nepal, on one hand has no or little dental care, on the other hand people of United States visits dentist on an average of 1.25 times per year. In this, the writer have not collected the information specific to the children of the two countries. Might be plausible that the dental care received by the United States children are more in comparison to the dental care of Nepal students. Hence, these statistics can not be considered as a valid statement to support the argument.
Moreover, the author has not compared the type of dental care provided the two countries. He should have compared the professionalism of the dentists to prove his point that even though the dentist were equally qualified the dental care not helped much in preventing tooth decay. United States might have good dental care that leads to lower tooth decay in the children.
In conclusion, I would strongly disagree with the statement posited by the author that the regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay. Author should have been more meticulous while gathering these information of different countries. He should have collect more comparable data. Author should have been more focused towards either comparing the same region of two countries or the different regions of the same country.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2303 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.942 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.541 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.261 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.798 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.175 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 317, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: addition,
...pact on the tooth decay of children. In addition he has compared to different lifestyles...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 18, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...rmful than others. Also, the author didnt take in account the different in toothp...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 340, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
... of the conclusion stated by the author.He should have provided more deep informat...
^^
Line 7, column 153, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...d United States. Nepal, on one hand has no or little dental care, on the other han...
^^
Line 11, column 210, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'these informations'?
Suggestion: this information; these informations
...ve been more meticulous while gathering these information of different countries. He should have ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, while, in addition, in conclusion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2368.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 464.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10344827586 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64119157421 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60020636243 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.390086206897 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 736.2 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.8377878711 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.956521739 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1739130435 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.34782608696 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249480170371 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0862482244956 0.0743258471296 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118104016077 0.0701772020484 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14536492708 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0968013876828 0.0628817314937 154% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.