A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal rec | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

The given argument implies that the regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay in suburban areas of the United States.The author of the passage has provided unsubstantiated series of argument to support his assertion. However, this conclusion is indefensible in nature and therefore requires more evidence to bolster this argument.

The author has provided the study that indicates that the children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children in suburban are in the US. There are no statistics have been provided to replicate this argument. If the sample of the study was too little or not random then the studies may influence the final results. For example, if the study made on ten to fifteen children then we cannot rely on it as it doesn't mirror the whole community. There is the possibilities that the children in Nepal have also tooth decay problems similar to children in US. Therefore, without knowing any details about the study, we cannot rely on its conclusion.

The author has added the fact that the people in Himalayan mountain in Nepal receive little or no professional dental care where people in suburban area in the US see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. However, the author assumed that the people who visits dentist are actually have problems. If people in suburban ares have been provided free regular dental care then why people won't avail it and get their teeth check. In this case, the fact of visiting dentist per year doesn't reflect actual figures of people who are facing tooth decay problems.

Also, the author didn't mention any details about the people in suburban area who visits dentist. What if the large portion of the visitors are old-aged people but not the children. After some age, it is very normal that people gets tooth decay problems and loosing their teeth too. Therefore, It is possible that the regular dental care actually helped people in US in taking care of their teeth. If above possibilities are true then making conclusion that the regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay would be wrong.

Another point the author has missed to look into is that the environmental conditions of both places. In Nepal, people are living with nature and eating healthy food in compare to people in suburban in the US. In US people and children may have a habit of eating unhealthy and do not take care of their teeth after eating such food. Where in Nepal, people are aware of taking care of their teeth then it is possible that the despite no professional dental care, people in Nepal have better teeth then people in the US.

All in all, the argument is not convincing even after supported statements. The author must look deeper before suggesting that the regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.

Votes

Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 137, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... in suburban areas of the United States.The author of the passage has provided unsu...
^^^
Line 3, column 458, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...hildren then we cannot rely on it as it doesnt mirror the whole community. There is th...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 493, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'There are the possibilities'?
Suggestion: There are the possibilities
...s it doesnt mirror the whole community. There is the possibilities that the children in Nepal have also to...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 557, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'toothed'.
Suggestion: toothed
...es that the children in Nepal have also tooth decay problems similar to children in U...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 289, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'had'.
Suggestion: had
... people who visits dentist are actually have problems. If people in suburban ares ha...
^^^^
Line 5, column 484, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
..., the fact of visiting dentist per year doesnt reflect actual figures of people who ar...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 18, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...th decay problems. Also, the author didnt mention any details about the people in...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 398, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...le in US in taking care of their teeth. If above possibilities are true then makin...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, look, may, so, then, therefore, as to, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2384.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 490.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86530612245 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70488508055 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41547144274 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.418367346939 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 753.3 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.9491545683 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.652173913 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3043478261 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.65217391304 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.325674743979 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100122149394 0.0743258471296 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.137978707675 0.0701772020484 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158611400498 0.128457276422 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.116907689568 0.0628817314937 186% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, look, may, so, then, therefore, as to, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments