To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.
The author states that there is a need of housing for the students of Buckingham College and the number of new dormitories should be build. Whereas, author didn’t claimed this with proper evidence, whether there is serious need of more dormitories or the current dormitories are being over flooded. The author even includes, due to growing enrollment of students the need for housing will be double over next 50 years. Here, author fails to mention some evidence on basis of which it would be evaluated that there will be guaranteed up growing enrollment of students every year, he should have stated this by using pie chart or the bar graph of the enrollment of students every year. In the conclusion author states that by building new attractive dormitories would make the prospective students more likely to enroll at the Buckingham college. This recommendation can considered as incomplete as no evidence states that the attractive dormitories would attract more students. Therefore, this argument can be considered unsubstantiated due the lack of evidence for the various claims by the author.
First of all the argument readily assumes that there is lack of dormitories for the students of the college, here author fails to provide the valid documentation that students are really in need of the housing or if students are complaining about the lack of accommodation provided by the Buckingham college. It is clear assumption by the author that the increase in enrollment of more students would least serve the housing needs. Whereas, in contradiction it can’t be true, as more number of students enroll there are also students who drop out from the college and thus leaving the dormitories vacant for the new enrolling students every year.
The author even claims that the Buckingham enrollment is growing and in coming 50 years enrollment would be double, whereas this claim holds no ground as no evidence is presented by the author which states that there will be sure double growth of enrollment in coming 50 years. Even, if the current enrollment number of students is high nothing can predict that there will be double number of enrollment in next 50 years. Whereas, in a decade it is possible that there would be the down trend of new enrollment as due to the fluctuating technology trends and the government. Thus again this is a weak and unsupported claim by the author as it does not demonstrate any clear correlation between the doubling of enrollment in next 50 years and the lack of requirement of dormitories. If author would have provided any evidence like the growing enrollment graph from the past few decades or any other documentation, then it would have been lot more convincing to the readers.
Moreover, author argues that student would find it difficult to afford the apartment in the town due to increase in the average rent, although in support of this claim he fails to provide the suitable evidence that all of the nearby apartments have increased the rents. It can be possible that there is increase in rent for the large level apartments as due to their high demands, but surely the small and medium level apartments would have not increased the rents to higher as if doing so they would face the long vacant time for their apartments to be rented due to high cost and low space. Thus this claim too does not hold and stiff ground and lacks the evidence.
Finally, author states that attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham College. This claim is just a assumption by the author and consists no serious statement as it provides no clear proof that the attractive new dormitories will attract the new students to enroll in the Buckingham college. The increase of the enrollment can be largely dependent on the reputation and the research carried out by the college itself and not according to the housing provided by the college. Thus this claim is purely a assumption and not the serious statement.
In conclusion, author argument is not persuasive and it stands. To bolster it further, the author must provide clear evidence, perhaps by a reliable survey and the analysis of the dormitories and there optimized need as optional to the building of new dormitories, which might not be effective without a clear analysis of the housing of college students.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
The arguments are on the wrong track.
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/serve-housing-need…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 731 350
No. of Characters: 3565 1500
No. of Different Words: 243 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.2 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.877 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.688 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 255 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 191 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 133 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.458 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.5 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 395, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[3]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'would the least'.
Suggestion: would the least
...increase in enrollment of more students would least serve the housing needs. Whereas, in co...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 575, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...g technology trends and the government. Thus again this is a weak and unsupported cl...
^^^^
Line 3, column 792, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had provided'?
Suggestion: had provided
...f requirement of dormitories. If author would have provided any evidence like the growing enrollmen...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 216, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...s to provide the suitable evidence that all of the nearby apartments have increased the re...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 593, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... rented due to high cost and low space. Thus this claim too does not hold and stiff ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 151, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... Buckingham College. This claim is just a assumption by the author and consists n...
^
Line 5, column 528, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...to the housing provided by the college. Thus this claim is purely a assumption and n...
^^^^
Line 5, column 554, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... the college. Thus this claim is purely a assumption and not the serious statemen...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, moreover, really, so, then, therefore, thus, whereas, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 32.0 12.9520958084 247% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 93.0 55.5748502994 167% => OK
Nominalization: 41.0 16.3942115768 250% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3632.0 2260.96107784 161% => OK
No of words: 730.0 441.139720559 165% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97534246575 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.19793345208 4.56307096286 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75650342423 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 204.123752495 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.342465753425 0.468620217663 73% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1101.6 705.55239521 156% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 74.5806330982 57.8364921388 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.333333333 119.503703932 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.4166666667 23.324526521 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256246957554 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100800066607 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0840717137757 0.0701772020484 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150195190862 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.074309605326 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.2 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 98.500998004 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.