There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual wo

Essay topics:

There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

The prompt supports the idea that the relaxed pace of life in small towns, such as Leeville allows greater and healthier lives than those of big cities, such as - Masonton. Although the author has provided certain logics behind his conclusion, however, many logical flaws are inflicted within the assumptions of behind the argument. These conjectures are only to be mentioned here followed by sufficient clarifications.

To begin with - the author believs that the workers hed had mentioned above are working in the respective environments of their workplaces. But he ignored the chances the surroundings of the worker where they live. It can be seen that the workers in the business of larger cities are living in small towns, such as - Leeville, where the environment may not be suitable enugh for a comfortable living. It can be the case that the workers who are taking the sick leaves are not suffering excatly from any environmental issues. They might suffer from other diseases they have inferited from their ancestors. Apart from this also - how can we ignore the possiblity of the workers to escape their duties in disguise of sick leaves only to serve their other purposes; only if they are honest as heaven! These cases can easily preclude any chances of environmental issues behind the downpolay of the health if the workers who are taking sick leaves. If any of the mentioned points can precipitate truth then the author has to rethink before making any judgement on the discrepency of environmental effect on human health in bi and small towns.

Second point to make is that - the author judges the health the of the habitants of both the cities with respect to the number of doctors available in those areas. He assumed that as the number of physician in the Leeville town is less than that of the Masonton town so the average health of people of the former one will be much more healthier than the latter one. But he is forgetting the possiblities of other perspectives. What if the physicians are less in number because of less opportunites to learn and less rooms and sources available for growing? It can be the case that all the physician of town or city always practice the treatment of their patients. In many cases those physician conduct research on their subjective filed. To do this kind of empirical works one need to have good availability of resources and opportunities - which they might lack in the small towns and get in plenty in the big towns. As a result they are more reluctant to stay there in the small towns. Apart from this - only counting the number of physicians in a certian village might to come to the conclusion of the average healths of that place might not hold firmness as there is a chance in those towns that people might oversimplify many things which the bigger town peoples do not. For example - the bigger town people might take consideration to consult with doctors even if they are caught with the least of colds. Whereas the small town people might be reluctant to consult to doctors even if they are suffering from any severe diseases; as in many cases can be seen.

Third conjecture of the author is to mention that - he belives that the higher average of Leeville conducts healthier environemnt than that of Masonton. What if most of the residents of that small town is aged less than 30, contrary to the people of the Masonton - having aged above 50? If that is the case the it is obvious that the people in Masonton will have lower average longevity of lives as they are much more older and will be more susceptable to death in frequent years. On other hand - the people of the small town are relatively younger than the Msonton ones, for which they are will live longer if in general it is seen. Now, does that mean that the environment of the Leeville is healthier than that of the Masonton. Obviously not. It might be false gesture to believe the conclusion from this evidences. Anotehr prosepect is that - if the number of people in the Leeville town is smaller than the that of the Masonton and those people aged around or above 50 or 60 then it will result in more average age old compared to the Masonton ones. So, that is also a critical flaw in the assumption to make.

So, looking at all the points and factors aforementioned, it can be safely deduced that - sufficient evidences and proper answers of the questions, asked in the essay are needed to come to a concrete conclusion.

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Average: 7.4 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 53, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: he'd
...h - the author believs that the workers hed had mentioned above are working in the ...
^^^
Line 5, column 331, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'healthier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: healthier
...f people of the former one will be much more healthier than the latter one. But he is forgetti...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 455, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: less
...erspectives. What if the physicians are less in number because of less opportunites to learn a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 512, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun rooms is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...cause of less opportunites to learn and less rooms and sources available for growing...
^^^^
Line 5, column 679, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this physician' or 'those physicians'?
Suggestion: this physician; those physicians
...atment of their patients. In many cases those physician conduct research on their subjective fi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 919, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...wns and get in plenty in the big towns. As a result they are more reluctant to sta...
^^
Line 7, column 308, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'it'?
Suggestion: the; it
...ving aged above 50? If that is the case the it is obvious that the people in Masonton ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 414, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'older' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: older
...age longevity of lives as they are much more older and will be more susceptable to death i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 804, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... gesture to believe the conclusion from this evidences. Anotehr prosepect is that - ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1056, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... age old compared to the Masonton ones. So, that is also a critical flaw in the assumpti...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, second, so, then, third, whereas, apart from, as to, for example, in general, kind of, such as, as a result, in many cases, to begin with, with respect to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 40.0 19.6327345309 204% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 30.0 13.6137724551 220% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 64.0 28.8173652695 222% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 116.0 55.5748502994 209% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3674.0 2260.96107784 162% => OK
No of words: 778.0 441.139720559 176% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72236503856 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.28134938836 4.56307096286 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57761544594 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 309.0 204.123752495 151% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.397172236504 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1151.1 705.55239521 163% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.8888169059 57.8364921388 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.466666667 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.9333333333 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.3 5.70786347227 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.191220450422 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0495592746672 0.0743258471296 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0539248687815 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0982054513021 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0485447443095 0.0628817314937 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 154.0 98.500998004 156% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 19 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 778 350
No. of Characters: 3598 1500
No. of Different Words: 299 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.281 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.625 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.506 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 238 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 161 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.064 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.781 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.268 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.431 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5