Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.
The analysis on tertian child-rearing practices conducted by Dr. Karp and Field hinges upon various assumptions which if not reasonably expounded, will lead to inaccurate information and subsequent studies by researchers to fall prey to similar fallacies.
To start with, Dr. Field had conducted an observation-centered approach in order to study the Tertain culture, however, no information has been supplied that conforms the basis on which Dr. Field reached to his conclusion. There needs to be more facts presented that better backs his studies -- How long did Dr.Field stay with the Tertian locals?, Was he living alongside people or would just swing by at different times of the day to record samples?. For instance, there is a possibility that what he observed was not the real depictions of the community in general.
Moreover, Dr.Karp conduected his study 20 years after Dr. Field's, running with the assumption that nothing would have changed over the course of 20 years in Tertian society. To lay out the significance of how huge the time differnce between the two studies really is, just think about the advent of mobile phones-- seems like they were part of lives for centuries-- have just evolved over a span of two decades, just like aeroplanes or the internet. The big idea is, a lot can changes in two-decades. The Tertian might just have completly shifted towards with biological parents looking after their children. Much evidence needs to be presented that documents their culture spread over the last 20 years not documented.
Having said that, even if we are agree that there were no culture changes on the island. The study does not shed any light on what quesitons were asked by Dr.Karp from the children. Were the questions asked intrinsically made the children answer keeping their biological parents in mind? Were the questions too objective with no room to digress? Much needs to be presented that confirms more accurately about the lives of the Tertian children. There needs to be a concrete research/survey conducted among the anthropologists describing what needs to be questioned that woudl ential maximum details about the children quotadian life-styles.
With that said, the conclusion about the future style of research be conducted, the anthropologists must come to concensus about the assumptions on which the conclusion rests. Keeping in mind that an interview-based method makes the interviewees conscious and curtails candidness to a certain degree, derailing the significance of the study.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Moreover, Dr.Karp conduected his study 20 years after Dr. Field's, running with the assumption that nothing would have changed over the course of 20 years in Tertian society.
Error: conduected Suggestion: conducted
Sentence: To lay out the significance of how huge the time differnce between the two studies really is, just think about the advent of mobile phones-- seems like they were part of lives for centuries-- have just evolved over a span of two decades, just like aeroplanes or the internet.
Error: differnce Suggestion: difference
Sentence: The Tertian might just have completly shifted towards with biological parents looking after their children.
Error: completly Suggestion: completely
Sentence: The study does not shed any light on what quesitons were asked by Dr.Karp from the children.
Error: quesitons Suggestion: questions
Sentence: There needs to be a concrete research/survey conducted among the anthropologists describing what needs to be questioned that woudl ential maximum details about the children quotadian life-styles.
Error: woudl Suggestion: would
Error: quotadian Suggestion: quotation
Error: ential Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: With that said, the conclusion about the future style of research be conducted, the anthropologists must come to concensus about the assumptions on which the conclusion rests.
Error: concensus Suggestion: consensus
Sentence: Keeping in mind that an interview-based method makes the interviewees conscious and curtails candidness to a certain degree, derailing the significance of the study.
Error: interview-based Suggestion: interview based
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-21-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 2077 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.078 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.844 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.871 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.353 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 119, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...d hinges upon various assumptions which if not reasonably expounded, will lead to ...
^^
Line 3, column 312, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Field
...er backs his studies -- How long did Dr.Field stay with the Tertian locals?, Was he l...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 318, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Field) must be used with a third-person verb: 'stays'.
Suggestion: stays
...ks his studies -- How long did Dr.Field stay with the Tertian locals?, Was he living...
^^^^
Line 5, column 14, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Karp
...e community in general. Moreover, Dr.Karp conduected his study 20 years after Dr....
^^^^
Line 5, column 478, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'change'
Suggestion: change
...he internet. The big idea is, a lot can changes in two-decades. The Tertian might just ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 34, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'agreed'.
Suggestion: agreed
...ed. Having said that, even if we are agree that there were no culture changes on t...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 159, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Karp
...ight on what quesitons were asked by Dr.Karp from the children. Were the questions a...
^^^^
Line 7, column 347, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: Many
... too objective with no room to digress? Much needs to be presented that confirms mor...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, look, moreover, really, so, for instance, in general, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2136.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 405.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27407407407 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96367551602 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.553086419753 0.468620217663 118% => OK
syllable_count: 626.4 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.1206629214 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.647058824 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8235294118 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.70588235294 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221516028329 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0664617134693 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567644015619 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113265421662 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0661870130098 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.79 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.