"Two years ago, the town of Seaside Vista opened a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. Since then, the Seaside Vista Tourism Board has reported a 20% increase in visitors. In addition, local banks reported a steep rise in the number of new business loan applications they received this year. The amount of tax money collected by Seaside Vista has also increased, allowing the town to announce plans to improve Seaside Vista's roads and bridges. We recommend building a similar golf course and resort hotel in Brindleburg. We predict that this project will generate additional tax revenue that the city can use to fund much-needed public improvements."
The memo from the mayor of Brindleburg to the city council predicted that generated additional tax revenue may use to fund much needed public improvements. However, there are some questions which needs to this memo fail to answer.
The town of Seaside vista opened a municipal golf course and resort hotel two years ago and since then Seaside Vista tourism Board has reported 20% increase in visitors. But how many tourists visited Seaside Vista before golf course and resort opened. If there are 5 peoples visited two years ago then 20% of 5 makes 6 people to visit after two years. So, Memo fails to provide accurate details about visitors.
Rise in the number of new business loan application reported by local banks fails to answer some questions. If people of Seaside Vista thinking that new golf course and resort hotel will increase their business or maybe it’s just a coincidence. Furthermore, if loan tax may be decrease in that year so there is increase in load application. So Memo must clarify this assumption and provide proper details about reason of increase in loan application.
Memo suggest that increased in tax collection will use in improving Seaside Vista’s roads and bridges. If we consider that tax collection increased because of golf course and resort. But if roads and bridges are not good enough then how they can sure that tax collection increase because of this? Is there possibility that increases in load application may lead to increase in tax collection. Memo fails to provide accurate details about reason of increase in tax collection.
Memo recommended building similar resort and golf course in Brindleburg. However, project of Seaside Vista whether profitable because of resort and golf course or not is not known. And there are other reasons also which may lead to increase in visitors in Seaside Vista. And if increase in visitors is because of resort and gold course then it may not be profitable to Brindleburg. So, building similar infrastructure may not attract visitors.
So, Memo fails to answer about certain things. Memo should provide details about reason behind increase in loan application and reason behind tax collection. Also provide accurate details about visitors that increased. And making similar buildings also not generate similar result in Brindleburg.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Here goes a sample:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1900 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.026 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.549 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.896 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.783 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The memo from the mayor of Brindleburg t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 7, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'suggests'.
Suggestion: suggests
... increase in loan application. Memo suggest that increased in tax collection will u...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 165, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'provides'.
Suggestion: provides
... and reason behind tax collection. Also provide accurate details about visitors that in...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1969.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 378.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20899470899 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66807827759 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.420634920635 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 613.8 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.3692961365 57.8364921388 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 82.0416666667 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.75 23.324526521 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.08333333333 5.70786347227 36% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.363968109888 0.218282227539 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111497364518 0.0743258471296 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.15280840784 0.0701772020484 218% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.190511145494 0.128457276422 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.174102165866 0.0628817314937 277% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.3550499002 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.64 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.3 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.