The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this recommendation by the vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries, the author argues that they should implement electronic monitoring of employees’ Internet use from their workstations to improve their employees’ productivity. Because the time employee spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games can reduce the number of hours to focus on the works. This assertion seems to be valid at first, but it relies on some unwarranted assumptions.
First of all, to argue that they should censor their employees’ Internet use at workstations to increase employee productivity, they need to prove the casual relationship between the time to work at the workplace and employees’ productivity. According to the recent study, the 4 days worktime in week improved the productivity of company, not 5 days, the normal time to work. Sufficient time to rest would bring higher productivity of work. Common sense says that human cannot focus in long time. Instead of holding things to work, taking a rest properly can help us focus our work better and increase our effectiveness.
Second, if they implement electronic monitoring of employees’ Internet use by installing software to detect employees’ Internet use on company computer, can it encumber employees’ spending on personal or recreational activities? Most people have smartphone these days and they can use Internet by their phone as they want to use them, not using their computer in workplace. Employee might take a rest without using Internet if the policy is implemented. Seeing how they use Internet would not affect to reduce their rest time at work hours.
Finally, the way to improve employees’ productivity the author suggested is not considering employees’ private life and can reduce employees’ trust to the company. If the company’s president decides to implement this policy, many employee of the company could resist the policy. Also, many employees might be disappointed because the fact that the company would watch their trivial behavior, and there might be some employees to quit the job.
In sum, to improve employees’ productivity, the author need to show more information to prove his argument valid and think about the more effective way, such as incentives.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1869 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.177 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.845 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.008 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.6 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 184, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Internet) must be used with a third-person verb: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
... monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations to improve thei...
^^^
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Internet) must be used with a third-person verb: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
...ware to detect employees' Internet use on company computer, can it encumber em...
^^^
Line 7, column 247, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun employee seems to be countable; consider using: 'many employees'.
Suggestion: many employees
...ident decides to implement this policy, many employee of the company could resist the policy....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, second, so, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 19.6327345309 25% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1994.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 361.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.52354570637 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.33783174696 2.78398813304 120% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498614958449 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 603.0 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.7275856382 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.625 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5625 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221114560226 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0810373435642 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0798655926536 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142126692232 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0631399402788 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.03 12.5979740519 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.