“We recommend that monarch books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide collection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discounting the childeren’s book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age 10. Opening a café will allow monarch to attract more customers and better complete with regal books, which recently opened its own café.”
The given argument concludes the recommendation that monarch books should open a café in its store and gives certain reasons for opening a café. The author says that the customer base of monarch books is large and the café can be opened at the place of children’s section of books Because the popularity of that section is less. The author also assumes that the popularity of store will be increased by opening café and monarch books will compete with regal books.
Beginning with the author’s assumption that the café will increase the popularity, it seems not profitable. Because It is true that the Monarch books is situated at same location for more than last 20 years and also has a large customer base, but these customers may be connected with monarch books due to the large variety of books available at the store. It does not imply that the café will attract the customers. The customers are attracted by the books, how can the author conclude about the increase in customer by café?
The monarch has wide collection of books. Therefore, it is clear that the customers from different area may come for them but that does not mean that the customers will be attracted by café. It may be possible that there are lot of other cafes situated around the monarch books. So, the new café may not do any big impact on the customers of monarch books.
The another argument is about the discounting the children’s section for café because the rate of number of children below age 10 is diminished as per national census report. But how can the author relate the percentage decline in the children nationwide with the children associated with the monarch books. It may be possible there are more number of children in the area at which the monarch books is situated and the children like to visit the children’s section in monarch books. Moreover, it is also possible that the school teachers also encourage the children to read books in libraries and book stores. So, the argument of author about replacing children’s section by café make the conclusion weak.
The author’s argument also tells about the benefit of café for competing with regal books which recently opened a café. But there is no evidence about where the regal book is situated? There is no mention about the number of people visit the regal books and how can author assumes about the increase in regal books due to café. It may be possible the regal books might have decreased the price of books so the people were attracted. Therefore, the comparison with the regal books make the argument weak.
Finally, there is no evidence is given in the author’s argument which strengthen the proposal of opening café in the monarch books. Therefore, the argument’s conclusion is weak as per the author’s assumption.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 479 350
No. of Characters: 2257 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.678 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.712 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.401 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.826 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.751 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.39 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 335, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...the popularity of that section is less. The author also assumes that the popularity...
^^^
Line 2, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t the café will increase the popularity, it seems not profitable. Because It is t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2362.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 479.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93110647182 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69569069338 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.35490605428 0.468620217663 76% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 722.7 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.2251575005 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.695652174 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8260869565 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.04347826087 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.358017529634 0.218282227539 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.124257282603 0.0743258471296 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0963153188377 0.0701772020484 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215695833116 0.128457276422 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102079852601 0.0628817314937 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.94 8.32208582834 83% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.