"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Monarch Books, having enjoyed prosperous business and large customer base for the last twenty years, is looking for the possibilities of expanding itself. The board of directors of Monarch Books recommends that the monarch books should open a cafe in its store, with discontinuing the children's books sections. To buttress their argument, the board cites the following evidences: first, opening cafe would attract more customers; second, percentage of population under age ten is declining; third, opening a cafe can better compete with which regal books recently opened its own cafe. Tough the issue has its own merit, due to lack of convincing evidences and unanswered questions, the conclusion is unsubstantiated.
To begin with, the crucial attraction of Monarch Books remained unjustified. It is well known that the popularity of the book store is the result of wide selection of books all subjects. If the primary reason that people come to read books is its environment, then opening a cafe might not be a wise choice. The appearance of cafe, will engender considerable noises, which disturb people who are immersed in reading. Readers, no longer experience quite reading atmosphere, might choose to leave and would not come to the monarch books in the future. Thus, the author fails to consider the negative impact brought by openness of cafe.
Moreover, the demographic structure the Monarch customers needs to be taken into account. The decreasing in the percentage of the population under age ten in national census does not necessarily mean that demand for children's book in the monarch books will decline. What if the total population increases instead? In this case, even though the percentage has been declined, the total number of kids under ten will not decrease dramatically, or even will increase significantly. In addition, the result from national census cannot represent the condition in this city. It is possible that educational resources are rich and economical system is robust in this city. Numerous people are attracted to migrate to and reside in Monarch city. If, furthermore, parents emphasize more on their kids' education and realize the importance of reading, then individual purchase of children's book perhaps increases a lot. It is expected that the overall sale of children's books plays a paramount role in the operation of the Monarch Books. Without knowing the detailed demand of children's books in the Monarch Books, there is no valid reason to discontinue such sections.
Last but not least, we need to investigate the change of Regal Books after opening the new cafe. Does it attract more customers and promote the profit? If Regal Books indeed prospers owing to the openness of new cafe, then we might consider the feasibility of that in Monarch Books. Otherwise, it is ungrounded to follow the trend hastily. Another question we need to be informed is whether Monarch and Regal Books are comparable. The author fails to consider different characteristics between these two book stores. Even if the cafe contributes positively to attracting more customers in regal books, does such pattern applicable in Monarch Books? What are the locations, popularity, book prices in those two stores respectively? The cost of a new cafe, including decoration, labor and material resources might be affordable for Regal Books but not for Monarch Books. Monarch Books could be suffered from severe financial crisis because of the investment on new cafe. What's more, there are also many other approaches to make monarch books more competitive. For instance, it may hold some interesting reading activities and give some discount or rewards to customers.
To sum up, as it stands, the recommendation from the board of directors of monarch books has some unanswered questions that curtail its credibility. To further strengthen conclusion, the director is recommended to provide more information as follows: first, whether more potential customers will be attracted by the newly open of cafe; second, whether there is persistently decreasing demand for children's books; third, whether Monarch Books can take advantage of the cafe to outperform Regal Books.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 34 15
No. of Words: 665 350
No. of Characters: 3438 1500
No. of Different Words: 306 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.078 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.17 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.773 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 246 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 201 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 140 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 103 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.559 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.836 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.285 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.429 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 624, Rule ID: ECONOMICAL_ECONOMIC[1]
Message: Did you mean 'economic' (=connected with economy)?
Suggestion: economic
...that educational resources are rich and economical system is robust in this city. Numerous...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 970, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... because of the investment on new cafe. Whats more, there are also many other approac...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, look, may, moreover, second, so, then, third, thus, well, for instance, in addition, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 88.0 55.5748502994 158% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3538.0 2260.96107784 156% => OK
No of words: 665.0 441.139720559 151% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32030075188 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.07814867018 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84655577071 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 314.0 204.123752495 154% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472180451128 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 1089.0 705.55239521 154% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 19.7664670659 172% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 58.3332880211 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.058823529 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5588235294 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.23529411765 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.396283568647 0.218282227539 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102988809075 0.0743258471296 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.080682378008 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.246487804446 0.128457276422 192% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.075158940693 0.0628817314937 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 171.0 98.500998004 174% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.