The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Homo-sapiens, the most evolved of the species on the planet today have come a long way since the past 2000 years. From an era of primitive tribes and warring clans, we are now in an era in which maximum emphasis is placed on peaceful and prosperous living. Modern society is built on the shoulders of the golden tents of co-operation and universal brotherhood. Hence, since competitiveness is a quality, inherent to human beings, it is cooperation that must be inculcated in the mind's of young people to prepare them for leadership in today's world.
For example, let us look at schools. What would be evident is how natural it is for a young student to pick up a fight with his classmate. He is merely reflecting his inner nature- which is human. He or she might be trying to assert his dominance on the fellow members of his species. So, it is up to his teacher to appeal to the student's better (or civilized) nature and encourage and teach him to work smoothly with his friends. As a student grows up, he sees around him a world, which requires him to be on his heels all the time. Be it sports or academics, there is immense pressure on him to succeed. This naturally instills in him, the desire to succeed. On the downside, this sort of cut-throat competitiveness greatly hampers his ability to work with a team of individuals. Hence, it would be a better investment on the part of colleges and schools to promote such activities which focus on team-building and co-operating with other individuals.
Further, the world is globalizing. The needs of the employer from their prospective employees are also changing. In job interviews, these employers look for candidates who are skilled at team activities and have strong social and soft skills. If, as per the claim here, the student has been brought up to be only competitive, the lack of ability to work in a team will be a major handicap for him at the workplace. Organizations -be it in the government, industry or other fields are always open to hiring candidates who they deem to be a "good fit" in their work environment. Even in admission to prestigious institutions all over the world, the admissions committee places a huge weight on how well the candidate can work in a team. While competitiveness of candidates can be assessed from standardized examinations and their academic transcripts, these are not pre-requisites for success. What ultimately matters is if you can co-operate and work in global teams.
As the world becomes more global, it is becoming a tight-knit community. There is a large focus on diversity and there is need to work in a diverse work environment. The team might be composed of members from different genders, age-group, sexual-orientation, ethnicity or socio-economic backgrounds. Hence, for one wishing to succeed in their jobs - be it in a big Multinational company or a wing of the United Nations or even in a research laboratory, the key to his or her success will lie in how good of a "team-player" he or she is.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 538, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...o hiring candidates who they deem to be a 'good fit' in their work envi...
^
Line 3, column 658, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'admissions'' or 'admission's'?
Suggestion: admissions'; admission's
...us institutions all over the world, the admissions committee places a huge weight on how w...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 507, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... or her success will lie in how good of a 'team-player' he or she is.
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, if, look, so, still, well, while, for example, sort of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.5258426966 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 33.0505617978 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 84.0 58.6224719101 143% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2509.0 2235.4752809 112% => OK
No of words: 521.0 442.535393258 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81573896353 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.18011875059 2.79657885939 114% => OK
Unique words: 271.0 215.323595506 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520153550864 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 782.1 704.065955056 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.3357514081 60.3974514979 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.5 118.986275619 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0384615385 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.57692307692 5.21951772744 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.83258426966 248% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117741164012 0.243740707755 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0310369606651 0.0831039109588 37% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0468571422611 0.0758088955206 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0740771720988 0.150359130593 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0426783368753 0.0667264976115 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.1392134831 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 12.1639044944 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 100.480337079 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.