"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Competition amongst individuals seldom leads to salubrious outcomes. It is with this notion, that a society should support ideals which prepare its young people who are fledglings in their respective domains for leadership in government, industry, or other fields by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
An old adage says that together we stand tall and divided we fall. If in the process of introducing the naive and innocent to the world we instill in them a sense of competition then they will feel that life is a race. That survival of the fittest is the only aim that they should hold high. Brotherhood and fraternity will no longer seem important to them. Moreover in this feeling of emerging victorious and vanquishing others they will forget basic humanity. It will all be about either winning or losing.
Instead if they are introduced to the concept of cooperation in emerging as a leader then not only will they rise as individuals but with them they will ensure that an entire society rises. It will not be a self-centred approach based on "I" but rather an approach that takes the society to the apogee as "We". Such learnings will make them realise that the real joy of success and prosperity comes by sharing and not by relishing on your own. It will also improve their social skills which are desideratum for anyone who wants to rise to the top.
All fields involve communication and collaborating with the masses. It can be the government which is endowed with the responsibility of crores of citizens, or a business that deals with sales, marketing, consumers, shareholders and teams. In addition, it can be the entertainment industry with all the glitz and glamour that churns out moving pictures to appeal the audience or a non-profit organisation that finds solace in altruism. Interacting with people, brainstorming ideas, and considering the others' viewpoint is ubiquitous as well as unavoidable. There is no way to find success and reach the pinnacle if a person does not adopt cooperation as an ideal.
Nonetheless, what we emphasize here is to not invest in unhealthy competition which is detrimental to growth. Competition between industries and individuals is inevitable. The path to apex is tortuous and convoluted with impediments in the form of competitors along the way. So, competing is bound to remain. But young individuals must be taught that this competition must ensure that no one is harmed. It must be taken in the right spirit and whatever be the result there should not be a situation that is untoward for the society. For example, let us consider two leading technology firms. Both are at the verge of being called globally the best. But since, they have equal mettle and skills there is no one clear winner. Considering this as the scenario the young leader must be taught that creating technology that brings success, is widely accepted, and revolutionary is more important than indulging in unscrupulous tactics to ensure the decline of the other company. In simpler terms, if we have two lines and we want to make one of the lines longer then we can either extend one of them or erase a part of the other one.
There are various things that the world looks for in a leader. We must ensure that young children realise what it means to be a leader in the most apposite sense and in a way through which the society benefits. If in the nascent stage itself, they are introduced to propitious concepts then they will grow up as prudent individuals who can succesfully take the right steps to reach the zenith.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 162, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...t ideals which prepare its young people who are fledglings in their respective domains ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 359, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
... will no longer seem important to them. Moreover in this feeling of emerging victorious ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Instead,
... be about either winning or losing. Instead if they are introduced to the concept o...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 503, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
...rainstorming ideas, and considering the others viewpoint is ubiquitous as well as unav...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1059, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...we want to make one of the lines longer then we can either extend one of them or era...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, moreover, nonetheless, so, still, then, well, for example, in addition, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.5258426966 169% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.4196629213 177% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 14.8657303371 182% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 11.3162921348 230% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 59.0 33.0505617978 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3000.0 2235.4752809 134% => OK
No of words: 611.0 442.535393258 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90998363339 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.97176167858 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8588719064 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 292.0 215.323595506 136% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.47790507365 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 924.3 704.065955056 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 20.2370786517 153% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.9488150344 60.3974514979 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.7741935484 118.986275619 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7096774194 23.4991977007 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.32258064516 5.21951772744 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.83258426966 228% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204171152452 0.243740707755 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0467336705516 0.0831039109588 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0754235510011 0.0758088955206 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12675514298 0.150359130593 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.104066121507 0.0667264976115 156% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.1392134831 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 152.0 100.480337079 151% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.