"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
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Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
In our ever-changing society, people have a sense of urgency in wanting to achieve success as quick as possible. Parents of toddlers rush to prestigious preschools in order for their child to enroll in a 'high-achieving' academic environment, getting a head start amongst other children in the competitive world. However, although competition may encourage us to perform well, we see often that competition does harm to our intrinsic motivation, hindering our true abilities to shine. Thus, a sense of cooperation amongst our peers should be encouraged from early on.
When one feels competitive, they may base their performances against others. If they perform better than their peers, they will feel a heightened sense of self-confidence. On the flip side, once one fails to do as well as they wished to, or falls behind their peers, they immediately attribute this to their own flaws. For example, a high-school student Jenny was raised in a family that valued competitiveness, and was praised throughout her life for being a straight-A student and talented artist. When Jenny takes on a role to be the leader of her school art project, she urges her teammates to do well so they could beat all the other groups. However, being competitive, Jenny ignores most of her teammate’s ideas and comes up with her own, wanting to let people know that her ideas were the best. As a result, Jenny's project, in comparison with the others in her class, lacked diversity and creativity. Although she had stellar artistic skills, the dearth of cooperation she had with her team didn't help her project stand out. In this instance, we see that cooperation is very beneficial, as everyone's ideas could be contributed into something creative and interesting. Jenny, being competitive and having a fear of losing, rejected potential ideas that could have helped her project shine even more.
In our society today, a sense of cooperation is valuable and necessary in order for success. In many fields, we see that good social and cooperation skills are needed in order for one to do well. For instance, a CEO of a company, the leader of hundreds of people, conduct weekly meetings with the managers from each department. During the meetings, he asks the managers what they think could be improved in their respective departments, and values their opinions in order to improve the efficiency of the company's operation. The CEO cooperates with his employees so that the satisfaction level of his workers are met, creating a friendly atmosphere in the company. As a result, work efficiency levels increase, strengthening the company's overall progress.
Cooperation is a highly valuable skill that should be instilled into the education of young people today. While this is indeed true, there are other times when a sense of competition may help in motivating people to put in their all, and strive for the best. An example would be an athlete training for the Olympics. The athlete, a 100-meter runner, is aware of the performances and rankings of his opponents in the coming competition. To be able for him to train assiduously, he focuses on the best times his opponents achieved in the 100-meter run, and aims to do better. Here, we see that the runner, with a sense of competitiveness, uses that to motivate his drive in becoming a better runner. In some contexts, competition may help one to improve on themselves and to aid them in training so that they could reach the next level. If there was solely cooperation instilled amongst the athletes, perhaps they would be less motivated in training hard and sharpening their skills, as one would feel it less important to do so.
It is indeed true that without competition, many people would lack the motivation in achieving the things they want, as they would feel it unnecessary to work hard in trying their best. However, we see that in many examples that competition, when used in the wrong way, may be detrimental to a person's growth in ability and opportunity to learn from others. Therefore, from a young age, people should be taught how to cooperate with their peers. In valuing other people's strengths and differences in thinking, our society can work to become a more diverse and respectful place for everyone's ideas.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 379, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'often' is usually put before the verb 'see'.
Suggestion: often see
...on may encourage us to perform well, we see often that competition does harm to our intri...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1004, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...th of cooperation she had with her team didnt help her project stand out. In this ins...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 295, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
... the wrong way, may be detrimental to a persons growth in ability and opportunity to le...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, for instance, as a result, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 77.0 33.0505617978 233% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 102.0 58.6224719101 174% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 12.9106741573 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3564.0 2235.4752809 159% => OK
No of words: 713.0 442.535393258 161% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99859747546 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.16740358842 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88403588005 2.79657885939 103% => OK
Unique words: 340.0 215.323595506 158% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.476858345021 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 1085.4 704.065955056 154% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 4.99550561798 200% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 13.0 3.10617977528 419% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.38483146067 274% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 20.2370786517 158% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.8114786573 60.3974514979 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.375 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.28125 23.4991977007 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.75 5.21951772744 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 25.0 10.2758426966 243% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.118364501665 0.243740707755 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0356767398167 0.0831039109588 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.033906851825 0.0758088955206 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0762646547409 0.150359130593 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0282650769915 0.0667264976115 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.1392134831 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 166.0 100.480337079 165% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.