"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
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Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The prompt states that while preparing young people for leadership roles in government, industry or other fields, it would be beneficial to instill a sense of cooperation rather than competition among them. Following this principle can have many detrimental effects of which two have been mentioned below.
When people in government have a similar thinking, they follow a path without think about other possibilities that could be much more beneficial to the citizens of the country. There is a possibility that there would be no opposition to one person who is leader in the government. To illustrate this, we can take the example of Russia, where the President of the country is so powerful, there is no oppostion to him. Everyone in the government follows everything he says without thinking twice whether doing so would harm the country in any way. It has been alleged that the elections in Russia are rigged because of which no other person can ever become the President. Such a situation is very damaging for the country's progress and existence. This situation can be attributed to the lack of opposition to the President when he was a nascent polititian. Had there been someone in the opposition to counter him, this situation wouldn't have risen. Therefore, competition is very important for the prosperity of the nation.
A country having cooperation among the government officials is bound to have people following a similar ideology which may be one that supports curtailment of freedom and rights of its citizens. A case that could illustrate this would be China. China has been a democracy on paper for a long time now while it is very well known that this democracy was falling apart. The current President of China, has become so powerful, that he has passed a legislation which allows him to be the President until his death. This legislation has deprived the chinese citizens from their right to vote. The current protests in Hongkong have been against this and other oppressive rules of the chinese government which are endangering their democracy and jeopardizing their future. This situation that China sees itself in would not have arosen if the people or the officials in the opposition had shown their dissent earlier when thing were taking a turn for the worse. Instead cooperation among themselves led them to this situation where they have to fight for their rights and democracy.
However, cooperation among the offcials in power and the oppostion can also be productive in some cases. For example, in India where the oppostion and the ruling party don't want each other to pass beneficail laws, they vehemntly oppose these bills in the parliament which hinders the progress of the nation. Had the oppostion members cooperated with the government, many laws that could have helped in the progress of the nation would be passed. Therefore, cooperation among the people in the government or the industry is a double edged sword which can have postive as well as negative effects depending upon the people involved and their ideologies.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 928, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...position to counter him, this situation wouldnt have risen. Therefore, competition is v...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 956, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Instead,
...thing were taking a turn for the worse. Instead cooperation among themselves led them t...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 169, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...here the oppostion and the ruling party dont want each other to pass beneficail laws...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, still, therefore, well, while, for example, as well as, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.5258426966 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 11.3162921348 212% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 33.0 12.9106741573 256% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2570.0 2235.4752809 115% => OK
No of words: 507.0 442.535393258 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06903353057 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74517233601 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71296594985 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 215.323595506 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463510848126 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 799.2 704.065955056 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.092821612 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.739130435 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0434782609 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.4347826087 5.21951772744 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 5.13820224719 214% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.14345469184 0.243740707755 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.045707055016 0.0831039109588 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0471181804155 0.0758088955206 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113951893449 0.150359130593 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0517589637472 0.0667264976115 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.1392134831 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 100.480337079 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.