The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Unity is a strength. When two mediocre intellectual people work together they would have a better output than a single highly intellectual person working alone. The key element to succeed in working as a team is cooperation. Teamwork requires each team member to cooperate with everyone in the team. A team leader should make sure that this cooperation holds for everyone in a team.

Young people are often dynamic and competetive. They are eagerly waiting for a chance to get into the industrial world and prove that they are better than everyone else. They are just like young princes who are ready to get into a war to prove their valor and combat is no less than anyone else. The goal of the war is to win but to get a higher kill score. If everone put their effort in killing more people than other then they might lose their lives in the process. But if all these powerful young warriors work together and strengthen their cooperation then the results of the war can be in their favour. A better example for this can be the trojan war. Achilles was the strongest person in the entire greece and anyone who sees him fight would have second thoughts to come across him in war. But he was disobidient to the king and made his own rules in the war. On the other side, Odysseys who is less powerful than achilles in martial aspects had a better cooperation with people. He worked with the other kings of greece and came up with a genius plan to defeat troy.

Young people need a lot of wisdom and experience to be good leaders. The bond we create with other people will be helpful in tackling a problem together. Believing that your teammate is capable of doing a certain task and forgiving him if he did not par your expectations from him is a good attribute of a leader.When a group of young people divide the work among themselves into simpler tasks for each of them and take the responsibilites of completing their job effectively on themselves, success would not be so far away from them. Though competition amongst yourselves proves to be useful in getting the better out of yourself, in the long term it turns out to be cynical relationship towards others. No matter how great you are at particular aspects, there are always shortcomings from you that are needed to your job if you decide to work alone. The major benefit from teamwork everyone gets to the job that thy are consummate at and leave no room for shortcomings.

As the society needs people to think in a broader and multifaceated manner, a group of people who think differently yet hold a strong cooperation can fulfill the need. The best way for the young people to cherish as great leaders, is to get instilled cooperation among them.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 22, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Unity is a strength. When two mediocre intellectual people work t...
^^^^
Line 7, column 359, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... to win but to get a higher kill score. If everone put their effort in killing mor...
^^
Line 7, column 415, Rule ID: OTHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'other than'?
Suggestion: other than
...heir effort in killing more people than other then they might lose their lives in the proc...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 421, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
Suggestion: than
...ffort in killing more people than other then they might lose their lives in the proc...
^^^^
Line 13, column 314, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: When
...rom him is a good attribute of a leader.When a group of young people divide the wor...
^^^^
Line 13, column 329, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...od attribute of a leader.When a group of young people divide the work among thems...
^^
Line 13, column 416, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... into simpler tasks for each of them and take the responsibilites of completing t...
^^
Line 13, column 678, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the long term it turns out to be cynical relationship towards others. No matter h...
^^
Line 13, column 926, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'consummated'.
Suggestion: consummated
...k everyone gets to the job that thy are consummate at and leave no room for shortcomings. ...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, second, so, still, then

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 33.0505617978 127% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 58.6224719101 118% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2244.0 2235.4752809 100% => OK
No of words: 485.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.62680412371 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55187439316 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 215.323595506 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496907216495 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 691.2 704.065955056 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.4017949732 60.3974514979 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.5 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2083333333 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.33333333333 5.21951772744 26% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.149033859985 0.243740707755 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0445892034637 0.0831039109588 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0505551655114 0.0758088955206 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0997632621232 0.150359130593 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0507038752767 0.0667264976115 76% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 14.1392134831 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 48.8420337079 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.1743820225 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.57 12.1639044944 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.38706741573 90% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 100.480337079 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 11.8971910112 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.