Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
It is a common question among many generations and many people that what should we pursue in our life. Although many of us are told that we should listen to the true desire or interest and follow our dreams, it is still a heated debate that if some of our dream is really worth our time and youth. Some people argue that young people should think twice and only pick those worthy goals because many of those dreams are selfish. As far as I am concerned, I partially agree with this argument with the following reasons.
First of all, the most important factor I consider is that some dreams will let people lose connection with their families for a long time or even some of the dreams are highly risky. For example, many people like to pursue the excitement of extreme sports suck as skydiving or many people many wish to work in some dangerous area such as desert or in a war. While these dreams sounds very cool, people who participate these activities are risking their lives. These people's families and friends who love and care about them will be very worried.
Although I generally support the idea that people should not be selfish while pursuing their dreams, it cannot be denied that most of the dreams are not selfish at all, an we should not judge the value of them just by our own thoughts. Take some less popular subjects or profession as an example. Some people many think it is useless to pursue a philosophy degree or to be a farmer because it sounds like having a lower society status of it will not earn people a lot of money. However, we should not say these dreams are not worthy pursuing as long as people are happy and enjoying doing these.
In conclusion, I concede that the value of dreams cannot be fairly judged by a universal criteria and sometimes it is also hard to say if a dream is worthy or not. Nonetheless, we should also be aware that we at the same time carry many different roles in this society. We have parents and sometimes even a partner and children, and it is our responsibility to take them in to consideration before devoting ourselves into a dream.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... their families for a long time or even some of the dreams are highly risky. For example, m...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 291, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun wish seems to be countable; consider using: 'many wishes'.
Suggestion: many wishes
...sports suck as skydiving or many people many wish to work in some dangerous area such as ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 170, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...t of the dreams are not selfish at all, an we should not judge the value of them j...
^^
Line 5, column 170, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'an' or 'we'?
Suggestion: an; we
...t of the dreams are not selfish at all, an we should not judge the value of them just...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 233, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...be aware that we at the same time carry many different roles in this society. We have parents ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, nonetheless, really, so, still, while, even so, for example, in conclusion, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 33.0505617978 157% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 58.6224719101 65% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1723.0 2235.4752809 77% => OK
No of words: 382.0 442.535393258 86% => OK
Chars per words: 4.51047120419 5.05705443957 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35874914758 2.79657885939 84% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 215.323595506 85% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.476439790576 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 549.0 704.065955056 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.740449438202 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.7547438016 60.3974514979 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.866666667 118.986275619 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4666666667 23.4991977007 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.2 5.21951772744 157% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.228960615664 0.243740707755 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0860035743672 0.0831039109588 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0501390188876 0.0758088955206 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150622442758 0.150359130593 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0335375166088 0.0667264976115 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.1392134831 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 48.8420337079 129% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.17 12.1639044944 75% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.38706741573 88% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 100.480337079 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.