Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

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Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.

Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

Currently, it is debatable whether governments must support its major cities financially in order them to thrive. Some people hold the view that this argument is reasonable since major cities are places where most of a nation’s cultural traditions are preserved. Others, however, disagree with this agree with the view and assert that other places can also reserve countries’ traditions. In my opinion I agree with the claim that governments should provide financial support to major cities; however, I disagree with the reason since the role of preserving tradition is weakened in major cities in this present day and age.

Many people argue that major cities need governments’ funds to thrive because these days, more and more people are moving into major cities to gain jobs or to be educated. For example, more than half of the Korean population lives in Seoul, the capital city in Korea. They decided to live in this major city because they should matriculate into colleges and gain proper jobs. Due to this, the city Seoul faces with societal ills such as over population and increased crime rate. Since the local city government does not provide sufficient social and economical remedies due to the lack of taxes, the national government supplements financial funding to the city government so that it can offer better and improved living environment to its citizens. Without the funding, the citizens would not enjoy the high-quality of welfare systems that they are granted by the local government. Therefore, financial support from the government is indispensable for major cities.

However, I disagree with the reason since rural areas are places where most of a nation’s tradition is preserved nowadays. With the advent of globalization and advancement of technology, major cities are assimilated to each other. Since it is easily accessible to share decent ideas and knowledge, many people bring valuable and unique facets of other nations to their own country. As a result, aspects of most major cities have become similar, and unique culture points have started to diminish in these cities. However, the impact of globalization does not reach into rural areas, and they still maintain the particularities of the nation’s tradition. Thus, it should be noted that rural areas are places where more cultural traditions are prevalent.

In conclusion, the argument that financial supports in major cities are ensured is persuasive. However, the reason is not cogent and should be reconsidered since other places can also be crucial for cultural preservation.

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flaws:
You should not separate claims and reasons. read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-issue-task-essays/claim-governments-must…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 2112 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.139 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.613 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.802 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5