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Claim: The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.Reason: The surest indicator of a great nation is actually the welfare of all its people.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which

Essay topics: Claim: The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.
Reason: The surest indicator of a great nation is actually the welfare of all its people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

octa_08's picture

Along history, many nations have developed their economies through different ways. Some of them have been successful in improving the overall welfare of its people, while others have had only a few people who were able to achieve important goals. Although that there could be many indicators by which we can measure if a nation is great or not, I believe that is more important to put in first place the general welfare of the entire population rather than just a few successful individuals. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the claim and its reason for two causes.

To begin, the most important thing that a nation should pursue is the general wefare of its people. It does not matter if a country does not have a lot of successful artist or scientists. For instance, take the case of Argentina. This country was at the top ten in the raking of income per capita at the begging of the 20th century. However, after the Second World War, it changed its polical economy at ended being at medium income country, with 30% of its population living under the poverty line. But, along its history there are a lot of important characters such as the novel price Adolfo Esquivel or the best football player ever, Diego Maradona. They are indeed really successful people but they couldn't enhace the entire welfare of Argentinian population. This example shows that a country can have great scientists or many others successfull people and still being a poor nation.

In addition, if a nation pursue the general welfare of its people, it can also get many rulers, artist or scientists with great achivements. That is to say, a country can have both, a general wefare for its people and successful individuals as well. A good example of this is the United States. This nation has many successful people, most of them have won the nobel price, and others have created wonderful objects, such as the Windows, developed by Bill Gates, or the Iphone, developed by Steve Jobs. Moreover, the people of this country enjoy a climate of freedom and progress which let them the possibility of getting out of the poverty really fast. The income per capita of USA is four times bigger that the Argentina's and it also have more successful individual than the latter. Therefore, a great country can have successful individuals even when they put in first place its general welfare.

To conclude, some people could say the the most important thing for a country to be considered as a great nation is to have successful individuals with great achivements. However, this is not a guarrantee of a general welfare. Many countries have successful individuals with most of their people live in poor conditions. Consequently, I believe that the surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists but the general welfare of all its people.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 704, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ndeed really successful people but they couldnt enhace the entire welfare of Argentinia...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 362, Rule ID: PRICE_PRIZE[3]
Message: Did you mean 'Nobel Prize' (reward)?
Suggestion: Nobel Prize
...ssful people, most of them have won the nobel price, and others have created wonderful obje...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 731, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... times bigger that the Argentinas and it also have more successful individual tha...
^^
Line 5, column 738, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'has'?
Suggestion: has
...bigger that the Argentinas and it also have more successful individual than the lat...
^^^^
Line 7, column 36, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
.... To conclude, some people could say the the most important thing for a country to b...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 36, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
.... To conclude, some people could say the the most important thing for a country to b...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, moreover, really, second, so, still, therefore, well, while, for instance, in addition, such as, in my opinion, that is to say

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2374.0 2235.4752809 106% => OK
No of words: 490.0 442.535393258 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84489795918 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70488508055 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62336282021 2.79657885939 94% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 215.323595506 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440816326531 0.4932671777 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 754.2 704.065955056 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.6828885431 60.3974514979 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.217391304 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3043478261 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4347826087 5.21951772744 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258770077835 0.243740707755 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0818952082493 0.0831039109588 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112180543649 0.0758088955206 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192154973102 0.150359130593 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0664580635127 0.0667264976115 100% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.1392134831 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 12.1639044944 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.38706741573 89% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 100.480337079 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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