Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim In developing and suppo

Essay topics:

Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/ or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

The speaker use a deduction which is based on the movie stores' characteristic and a comparison with other movie store locating in downtown, to state his argument that the only way to increase their profit is to reduce their operation expense by shortening operating time. The owner's assumptions underlying his argument and deduction is rife with holes, making his memorandum vulnerable in logic.

Firstly, he denies the possibility of increasing their rental prices, because he contends that their stores' special bargains are the obstacle, but here, there is no relation between bargain and higher prices, in that increasing prices does not mean that consumers' right of bargining is canceled. Speaking conversely, even if risng prices is prohibited, leaving less room for bargaining may be another way to increase profits indirectly. Thus, more evidence regarding bargaining and price increase should be cited.

Secondly, what is dicussiing now is that a store in downtown that reduced its openning time from 9 PM to 6PM is used to generalize one of the speaker's assumptions, that are even it redeced operating time, surprisingly increased profits. Here, the owner makes two mistakes. The one is that, there is no information informing us that the store undertaking those changes are actually making profits, although that is what the author's assumption. If previous purchase records show that in the evening, when is a time for most people to buy movies because people living in center are only having spare time in such a time. So if that is true, the profits may not be increased. And the second mistake, even the downtown store made profits, it is unreasonable to generalize the situation in the city center to assume that other stores in different places will have the same effect. One possibility that can challenge the speaker's assumption is that the main reason for the store to make money is higher-density population.

Thirdly, eliminating movies made in five years is also viewed as a useful change without the support of statistics. Movies are not like costumes, which could be obsolete with the time, movies are defendible to be challenged by time if itself is a good art. Thus, it is better convincing if the author to check if their consumers are hating old films.

To sum up, the owner of Mobies Galore has refuted a direct way to increase profits and falsely generalize a special phenomenon to other stores, both without enough data and evidence. To strengthen his argument, more researches should be conducted, holes in logic should be completed.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 13, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
The speaker use a deduction which is based on the movie...
^^^
Line 5, column 424, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...king profits, although that is what the authors assumption. If previous purchase record...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 915, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'speakers'' or 'speaker's'?
Suggestion: speakers'; speaker's
... One possibility that can challenge the speakers assumption is that the main reason for ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 330, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... the author to check if their consumers are hating old films. To sum up, the owner of ...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, conversely, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.5258426966 174% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 58.6224719101 77% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2155.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 422.0 442.535393258 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10663507109 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78920018985 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54028436019 0.4932671777 110% => OK
syllable_count: 687.6 704.065955056 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.22563733 60.3974514979 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.764705882 118.986275619 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8235294118 23.4991977007 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.52941176471 5.21951772744 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.06659339723 0.243740707755 27% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0214630161988 0.0831039109588 26% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0215156370758 0.0758088955206 28% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0415891546359 0.150359130593 28% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0180594070415 0.0667264976115 27% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.1392134831 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 100.480337079 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.