Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Malcolm Forbes quoted "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open mind".One should have an open mind in order to embark his journey of success.In this statement, author suggests that the established formal system of education that relies upon learning strategies and objectives tend to become tedious and set a stringent mind. I strongly agree with the statement and argue that a restrained mind tends to stymie one's progress in life for two reasons.
To begin, Formal education in any organisation has prevailing learning strategies which is going on for years with little or no change in their objectives. As much as the technology and science has advanced in past few years, Conventional education system did not, which in turn, still teaches us the same methodology, that may be obsolete now. For an instance, to design a plan of 2BHK apartment, there are various softwares available in market such as Autocad, etc. which provides more feasible and accurate methods of designing and many real estate organisations are using these softwares to deliver their work. However, Instead of making students proficient in these up to date softwares, Engineering colleges are still following the conventional method of drawing a plan of an apartment over a sheet. Students who have been drawing these on these sheets for years are now become hesitant towards the new teachnology.Therefore, If students were allowed to have an oppurtinity to explore and design theses plans , many would have come up with different ideas to accomplish the task given which in turn had open their minds to various new interests.
Further, An open mind has the ability to absorb the positive energy from an environment and turn it into something creative. With our minds and spirits fettered , we would get troubled by any changes around us. Since childhood, we were all the part of education in different organisations that instruct us in the same way and restrict our minds to diverge from one path that we have been taking for long time.This certainly hinders our ability to think something new, creative and innovative in every aspects , with cut throat competition every one is challenging the other with a new idea and not able to up stand can end all us up in a labyrinth situation.
To conclude, We must have free minds and spirits in order to succeed.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 100, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: One
...e an empty mind with an open mind'.One should have an open mind in order to em...
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Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
... order to embark his journey of success.In this statement, author suggests that th...
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Line 1, column 440, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
... that a restrained mind tends to stymie ones progress in life for two reasons. ...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nes progress in life for two reasons. To begin, Formal education in any organi...
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Suggestion: Therefore
...me hesitant towards the new teachnology.Therefore, If students were allowed to have an op...
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Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...inity to explore and design theses plans , many would have come up with different ...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...their minds to various new interests. Further, An open mind has the ability to...
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Line 5, column 164, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ive. With our minds and spirits fettered , we would get troubled by any changes ar...
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Suggestion: This
... that we have been taking for long time.This certainly hinders our ability to think ...
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Line 5, column 512, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...creative and innovative in every aspects , with cut throat competition every one i...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, so, still, therefore, as to, such as, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 33.0505617978 88% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1979.0 2235.4752809 89% => OK
No of words: 392.0 442.535393258 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04846938776 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90991046488 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.576530612245 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 23.0359550562 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 114.952496227 60.3974514979 190% => OK
Chars per sentence: 164.916666667 118.986275619 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.6666666667 23.4991977007 139% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.91666666667 5.21951772744 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187974316237 0.243740707755 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0748356787087 0.0831039109588 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0474952774244 0.0758088955206 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117133770736 0.150359130593 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0347356715791 0.0667264976115 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 14.1392134831 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 48.8420337079 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.1743820225 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.21 8.38706741573 110% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 100.480337079 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 11.8971910112 164% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.2143820225 132% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 11.7820224719 170% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.