Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and suppor

Essay topics:

Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

it is the duty of the government to safeguard the people of their country as well as to protect and develop their interests for the development of the nation. The prompt recommends that the government should treat military and arts equally, and should promote arts as much as it promotes military. Considering two independent entities here, but, with the importance of them ranging from interests to lives, I mostly disagree with this recommendation and would like to raise a couple of instances.

The military of a country is responsible for guarding its borders, maintaining peace and thus, ensuring the safety of all the citizens of the country. For instance, if the country runs into a problem with a neighbouring country, or is suddenly attacked by terrorists, the military force comes into action. The military force needs to be intellectually active as well as it needs to have all the imperative resources in these situations. In circumstances where the country is attacked by terrorists, armies are deployed and they have to risk their lives to eliminate the threat. also, while doing so, there are cases where civilians are kept as hostages. here, the army needs to make sure that not only they destroy the threat, but, make sure that that civilians are not harmed in any way. The government needs to make sure that the military is supplied with the best training, all the latest resources are available and thus, ensure that the protection of the country are in the safest hands. this leads to the point that government should not make any compromises in protecting the security of its citizens.

Once the citizens of the country are made safe, the government still has important issues to address. The other side of the issue lies in protecting the interests of its citizens. For example, the government should make sure that the best institutes are made for its citizens education and, that the citizen should not have to migrate to other countries just because its country does not offer quality expertise in its field. Hence, just like it cannot make compromises in protecting the citizens, it should also ensure that arts are developed as well, thus contributing in the success of the nation.

Considering that one part is about safeguarding the citizens of the country, and the other is about making the citizens interests are developed and nourished without any compromises, the government is thus in an ambiguous state. However, lives of the citizens are a bit more important and thus, the higher priority should still be the military from the country's point of view.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
it is the duty of the government to safegu...
^^
Line 7, column 579, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...sk their lives to eliminate the threat. also, while doing so, there are cases where ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 655, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Here
...s where civilians are kept as hostages. here, the army needs to make sure that not o...
^^^^
Line 7, column 994, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...of the country are in the safest hands. this leads to the point that government shou...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, so, still, thus, well, while, as to, for example, for instance, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2178.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 433.0 442.535393258 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03002309469 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73947591291 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 215.323595506 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.43648960739 0.4932671777 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 683.1 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.241056369 60.3974514979 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.117647059 118.986275619 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4705882353 23.4991977007 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.17647058824 5.21951772744 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131905351958 0.243740707755 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0472183769611 0.0831039109588 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0416749300776 0.0758088955206 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0930603898024 0.150359130593 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0592309465449 0.0667264976115 89% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.1392134831 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 100.480337079 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.