Learning is primarily a matter of personal discipline; students cannot be motivated by school or college alone.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
If there is one thing which helps out an individual aprart from the quotidian scholarly problems in their real life , it would be the acquisition of knowledge and it's wise implementation , which can be done with the help of a process called ,learning . The prompt recommends that learning is primarly a subjective personal choice and it cannot be motivated by the institutions . I mostly agree on this view , that learning should not be a coercion among students , if so , it may have it’s consequences
First of all ,why do most of the populace end up being average (aprt from the fact that most of them are endowed with an average cognitive thinking) in their life ? in other words , why only a segment of humans in a given period ,end up successful ? the answer for these questions , lie in the fact that the latter group which had been mentioned earlier , follow their ‘heart’- which is widely known as passion and self interest. For instance , lets take the curious case of the renowed scientist Albert Einstein who failed in his primary grades . If it was not him, then our understanding of most physical process in the current world would have been in a state of quandary . Now the question arises , how was Einstein be able to achieve his place as a prominent scholar despite his poor academics early in his life ?. This is due to his learning based on purely his personal interest in the field of physics . Had he followed the ever ridden path of succumbing to societal pressure or from the motivations from his school , he would have dared to follow his passionate field of science .
Secondly , in the current competitive world , students are given the liberty to take up the subjects and research of their interest , yet most of them fail to make a mark in their carrer . why does this happen ? This may be attributed to many factors such as lack of passion , patience ,but more importantly ,a solid role model who can act as a guide for the young bright minds to excel in their sphere of expertise . For instance , I personally know a friend of mine , who despite his great academics, unfortunately .could not make a mark in his field of research . When I came to know his path , I realised that he lacked motivation form his close knit members of his family , who didn’t want to support his career . Although he was originally motivated from his academics in his school , his current position is an example of what could happen if in one’s life , he or she doesn’t have a role model or a personal supporter apart from the subsidies and backing up from their school or college.
Of course , one would argue that the ratio of people ending up successful by following their passion is minuscule , but isn’t that why it drives the passionate people to achieve an unique feat which consequently make them successful in this competitive world . Hence , students or individuals should seek a supplementary source of motivation apart from the education institutions to be successful in a long lasting manner
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 116, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...an scholarly problems in their real life , it would be the acquisition of knowled...
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Line 1, column 130, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...roblems in their real life , it would be the acquisition of knowledge and its wis...
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Line 1, column 173, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...he acquisition of knowledge and its wise implementation , which can be done with ...
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Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...f knowledge and its wise implementation , which can be done with the help of a pr...
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Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...e done with the help of a process called ,learning . The prompt recommends that le...
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Line 1, column 253, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...h the help of a process called ,learning . The prompt recommends that learning is ...
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Line 1, column 379, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
... cannot be motivated by the institutions . I mostly agree on this view , that lear...
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Line 1, column 409, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...stitutions . I mostly agree on this view , that learning should not be a coercion ...
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Line 1, column 465, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
... should not be a coercion among students , if so , it may have it’s consequences ...
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Line 1, column 473, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...not be a coercion among students , if so , it may have it’s consequences First of...
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Line 1, column 488, Rule ID: IT_IS[10]
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...on among students , if so , it may have it’s consequences First of all ,why do most...
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Line 2, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...may have it’s consequences First of all ,why do most of the populace end up being...
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Line 2, column 128, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...most of them are endowed with an average cognitive thinking in their life ? in ot...
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...age cognitive thinking in their life ? in other words , why only a segment of hum...
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Line 2, column 179, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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... thinking in their life ? in other words , why only a segment of humans in a given...
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Line 2, column 228, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...ly a segment of humans in a given period ,end up successful ? the answer for these...
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... in a given period ,end up successful ? the answer for these questions , lie in the...
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Line 2, column 280, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...cessful ? the answer for these questions , lie in the fact that the latter group w...
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Line 2, column 353, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...r group which had been mentioned earlier , follow their ‘heart’- which is widely ...
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Line 2, column 368, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...ad been mentioned earlier , follow their ‘heart’- which is widely known as passio...
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Line 2, column 443, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... passion and self interest. For instance , lets take the curious case of the renow...
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Line 2, column 546, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...instein who failed in his primary grades . If it was not him, then our understandi...
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Line 2, column 593, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...t was not him, then our understanding of most physical process in the current wo...
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Line 2, column 599, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...not him, then our understanding of most physical process in the current world wo...
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Line 2, column 668, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...rent world would have been in a state of quandary . Now the question arises , how...
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Line 2, column 678, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
... would have been in a state of quandary . Now the question arises , how was Einst...
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Line 2, column 704, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...e of quandary . Now the question arises , how was Einstein be able to achieve his...
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Line 2, column 767, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...able to achieve his place as a prominent scholar despite his poor academics early...
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Line 2, column 914, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...ersonal interest in the field of physics . Had he followed the ever ridden path of...
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Line 2, column 991, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...th of succumbing to societal pressure or from the motivations from his school , ...
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Line 2, column 1013, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...cietal pressure or from the motivations from his school , he would have dared to...
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Line 2, column 1030, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r from the motivations from his school , he would have dared to follow his passi...
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Line 2, column 1094, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...o follow his passionate field of science . Secondly , in the current competitive...
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Line 3, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...passionate field of science . Secondly , in the current competitive world , stud...
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Line 3, column 44, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...ondly , in the current competitive world , students are given the liberty to take ...
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Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... subjects and research of their interest , yet most of them fail to make a mark in...
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Line 3, column 187, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...them fail to make a mark in their carrer . why does this happen ? This may be attr...
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Line 3, column 190, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Why
...m fail to make a mark in their carrer . why does this happen ? This may be attribut...
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Line 3, column 275, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
... to many factors such as lack of passion , patience ,but more importantly ,a solid...
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Line 3, column 286, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...ctors such as lack of passion , patience ,but more importantly ,a solid role model...
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Line 3, column 308, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...passion , patience ,but more importantly ,a solid role model who can act as a guid...
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Line 3, column 355, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...id role model who can act as a guide for the young bright minds to excel in thei...
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Line 3, column 360, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...le model who can act as a guide for the young bright minds to excel in their sph...
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Line 3, column 418, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...ds to excel in their sphere of expertise . For instance , I personally know a frie...
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Line 3, column 433, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...their sphere of expertise . For instance , I personally know a friend of mine , wh...
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Line 3, column 470, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...nce , I personally know a friend of mine , who despite his great academics, unfort...
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Line 3, column 519, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...spite his great academics, unfortunately .could not make a mark in his field of re...
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Line 3, column 567, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...not make a mark in his field of research . When I came to know his path , I realis...
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Line 3, column 598, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
... research . When I came to know his path , I realised that he lacked motivation fo...
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Line 3, column 638, Rule ID: FROM_FORM[4]
Message: Did you mean 'from'?
Suggestion: from
... , I realised that he lacked motivation form his close knit members of his family , ...
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Line 3, column 679, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...orm his close knit members of his family , who didn’t want to support his career ....
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Line 3, column 719, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
... , who didn’t want to support his career . Although he was originally motivated fr...
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Line 3, column 791, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...tivated from his academics in his school , his current position is an example of w...
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Line 3, column 866, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...le of what could happen if in one’s life , he or she doesn’t have a role model or...
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Line 3, column 904, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...fe , he or she doesn’t have a role model or a personal supporter apart from the ...
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Line 3, column 908, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... he or she doesn’t have a role model or a personal supporter apart from the subs...
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Line 4, column 10, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...from their school or college. Of course , one would argue that the ratio of peopl...
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Line 4, column 114, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
... by following their passion is minuscule , but isn’t that why it drives the passio...
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Line 4, column 179, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
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...drives the passionate people to achieve an unique feat which consequently make th...
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Line 4, column 193, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...sionate people to achieve an unique feat which consequently make them successful ...
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Line 4, column 260, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...hem successful in this competitive world . Hence , students or individuals should ...
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Line 4, column 267, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...essful in this competitive world . Hence , students or individuals should seek a s...
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Line 4, column 422, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...o be successful in a long lasting manner
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, apart from, for instance, of course, such as, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 33.0505617978 185% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 76.0 58.6224719101 130% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2473.0 2235.4752809 111% => OK
No of words: 519.0 442.535393258 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76493256262 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7730044521 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70327953134 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 265.0 215.323595506 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510597302505 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 759.6 704.065955056 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 23.0359550562 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 69.9335001587 60.3974514979 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.388888889 118.986275619 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.8333333333 23.4991977007 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.21951772744 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 63.0 7.80617977528 807% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.134058486331 0.243740707755 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0475371111639 0.0831039109588 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0430975858322 0.0758088955206 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102755271765 0.150359130593 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.061352629428 0.0667264976115 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.1392134831 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.92 12.1639044944 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 100.480337079 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.2143820225 118% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.