The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The unprecedented growth of technology has proved beneficial to humans in many ways. But, there are still many areas where are not developed yet and using the traditional approach. While in some areas there is an overuse of technology. Technology should be used to make the best out of it. Moreover, I agree with the premise that the primary goal of technology should be to increase people's efficiency which can help them to get more leisure time. However, I do concede that there a few scenarios where this premise does not hold water.
First, Many people are indulged in their work that they hardly get any leisure time, due to this people face many health issues. Because many people have a sedentary job which requires them to work for about 10 hours a day. People nowadays are facing many health issues like obesity as they do not get time to work out or even go out for a walk. For example, life of Information Technology (IT) people, they have in the office for hours. People at a young age are suffering from health issues and when asked they say, they do not have leisure time to take care of themselves. Moreover, A survey asserts due to workload people and stick to junk food . Technological devices like a vacuum cleaners, dishwashers, etc have eased many people's lives and it has helped people to get leisure time by reducing their cleaning time. So, If technological advancement majorly focuses on developing applications that increase people's efficiency, it will help a ton to increase people’s health.
Furthermore, It is widely said that leisure time increases productivity. If people work the whole day they get tired and look for refreshment. Otherwise long working hours are just stretching of time without getting any effective output. Leisure time helps people to pursue their hobby and keep them lively and fresh. So, when these people come to work they are enthusiastic about their work. This is only possible if we have technology that reduces human effort.
Lastly, developing this technology itself requires great effort and long hours of work. But, once developed it will be a boon to humans. Thus, if technological advances focuses on reducing human efforts, people will get more leisure time and will be a boon to people's lives and development.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 182, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...yet and using the traditional approach. While in some areas there is an overuse of te...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...hey hardly get any leisure time, due to this people face many health issues. Because...
^^^^
Line 3, column 393, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'peoples'?
Suggestion: peoples
...mple, life of Information Technology IT people, they have in the office for hours. Peo...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 646, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...o workload people and stick to junk food . Technological devices like a vacuum cle...
^^
Line 4, column 143, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Otherwise,
...hey get tired and look for refreshment. Otherwise long working hours are just stretching ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 318, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...r hobby and keep them lively and fresh. So, when these people come to work they are enth...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, lastly, look, moreover, so, still, thus, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 33.0505617978 109% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 58.6224719101 70% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1895.0 2235.4752809 85% => OK
No of words: 386.0 442.535393258 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90932642487 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43248042346 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62936117436 2.79657885939 94% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 215.323595506 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512953367876 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 611.1 704.065955056 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.6150389848 60.3974514979 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 82.3913043478 118.986275619 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.7826086957 23.4991977007 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.21739130435 5.21951772744 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.83258426966 228% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301345668935 0.243740707755 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0925125479434 0.0831039109588 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0845139444487 0.0758088955206 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188547956792 0.150359130593 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0440527108231 0.0667264976115 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 14.1392134831 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.8420337079 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.9 12.1639044944 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 100.480337079 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.