"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infa

Essay topics:

"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

In this argument, the author reaches the conclusion that both firstborn infant monkey and humans produce high levels of cortisol in a stimulating situation, and first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol. The foundation of this claim is that from the study of eighteen rhesus monkeys. At first glance, the author’s argument seems reasonable; however, this agreement not only suffers from defects but also it prejudices its conclusion upon several skeptical assumptions, therefore, the arguments might lead to a different conclusion than one given. In the following analysis, I would explain alternative explanations from the argument.

In the first place, the writer assumes that the firstborn rhesus monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, but he can consider an alternative explanation that the production of the hormone cortisol is from the monkey’s age. Firstborn monkey is always older than the younger monkeys, thus, it could be possible to consider that older monkey generates more hormone cortisol than the younger monkey.

In the second place, the author can think that the monkey which has bigger body produce higher levels of cortisol because older monkeys have bigger bodies. As the argument explains, the hormone cortisol is for increasing activity levels, thus the bigger monkey might need the hormone more than the younger and smaller monkeys.

In the third place, she points out that the first-time mother had higher levels of cortisol, but it is not persuasive because we can conclude that the first-time mother monkey generates more the hormone due to frustrations and fears. Hence, this argument is unwarranted without considering such a possibility.

In the fourth place, the writer exaggerates firstborn humans also produce higher levels of the hormone cortisol, but this assertion is not reliable because the researcher examined only eighteen rhesus monkeys. The outcome from the experiment can determine the only rhesus monkeys, not for other kinds of the monkey and humans, hence, the author needs to examine other kinds of monkeys to examine whether humans also differ between firstborn monkeys and humans.

To sum up, the author fails to provide sufficient justification for the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. Before arriving a conclusion, the author should acknowledge that there are many factors involved in this story and undertake an additional investigation to clarify the uncertain pointed out above. The argument would be strengthened considerably if the author rules out such possibilities.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, to sum up, in the first place, in the second place, in the third place

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.5258426966 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 33.0505617978 70% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 58.6224719101 82% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2216.0 2235.4752809 99% => OK
No of words: 403.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.49875930521 5.05705443957 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81677613291 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 215.323595506 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.468982630273 0.4932671777 95% => OK
syllable_count: 681.3 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.3437297299 60.3974514979 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.733333333 118.986275619 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.8666666667 23.4991977007 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0 5.21951772744 192% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 10.2758426966 19% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22470674317 0.243740707755 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0850698483124 0.0831039109588 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0691273810049 0.0758088955206 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118822246799 0.150359130593 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0451403391145 0.0667264976115 68% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 14.1392134831 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.8420337079 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.92 12.1639044944 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 100.480337079 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.