The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the writing, on Balmer Island, the number of accidents caused by moped was significant problem so they will reduce the number of mopeds rented by the island’s moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day because the neighboring island of Seaville succeed in reduction of the accident between mopeds and pedestrians last year. At first glance, the author’s argument seems reasonable. However, this agreement not only suffers from defects but also it prejudices its conclusion upon several skeptical assumptions. Therefore, the argument is incomplete and unconfirmed. Before finalizing the conclusion, the author must answer the following questions in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result.
In the first place, the writer assumes that the rented mopeds caused accidents with pedestrians, so she contends that we need to reduce mopeds which people rented but basing on their claim is not credible due to the fact that there is a possibility residents’ moped made accidents. For example, if the ratio of an accident caused by owned moped to rented accidents was 8:2, the number of totals will not decrease even though if the rented mopeds riders decreased. Therefore, the author examines the question whether the number of rented mopeds’ accidents is surely high, and it reveals the reliability of the writer’s recommendation.
In the second place, the author exaggerates her idea when she claims that the neighboring island of Seaville could reduce the number of accidents with the same method of her suggestion, however, it is not persuasive because she didn’t mention the environmental difference between the two islands. To illustratrate of what I mean, let’s look at the case when the road condition on Balmer island is worth than on Seaville island. In this case, if the Balmer island’s change their policy, the possibility of causing the accidents might not change. Thus, the writer must answer even if the condition of the traffic and roads are similar in the two islands, and it will ensure people who the idea is more plausible.
In the third place, the writer points out that the island of Seaville succeed in limiting the number of accidents when their town council enforced limits the number of rented mopeds, yet her assertion is not feasible because she observed just a year. There is a possibility that the number of accidents will increase in the future. Hence, the argument is unwarranted without ruling out and answering such a possibility.
To sum up, the author fails to prove sufficient justification to recommend that the island should reduce the number of rented mopeds. Before arriving the final conclusion, she must acknowledge that there are many factors involved in this story and undertake an additional investigation to answer the uncertain questions pointed out above.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 465 350
No. of Characters: 2339 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.644 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.03 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.706 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.353 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.163 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 502, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...reased. Therefore, the author examines the question whether the number of rented mopeds' accid...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 408, Rule ID: WORTH_THAN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'worse', the comparative of 'bad'?
Suggestion: worse
... the road condition on Balmer island is worth than on Seaville island. In this case, ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, look, second, so, therefore, third, thus, for example, i mean, to sum up, in the first place, in the second place, in the third place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2443.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27645788337 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92300996183 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479481641469 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 756.0 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 82.17834433 57.8364921388 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.705882353 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2352941176 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0588235294 5.70786347227 176% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214239297714 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0710474080023 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683003253282 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125097725452 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0403020933171 0.0628817314937 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 14.3799401198 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.