Schools should cut funding for extracurricular activities such as sports and the arts when school buildings are in need of repair.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
School buildings in need of repair depend mostly on their funds for their infrastructure, but having using the fund kept out for extracurricular activities and sports for the infrastructure development is an ultimate issue for the students. As far as I’m concerned to a certain extent I disagree with the argument as it indirectly has an impact on students who are extremely contributing and interested in sports, arts and other extracurricular activities. I will be discussing the reasoning for the position I have taken in the following paragraphs.
Schooling in the modern world is focused on forging students’ life not only in the academics but with wide range of subjects that endeavors to transform them into being a successful persona even when they lacked in academics which is concerned primarily on the development of skills that functions with the conception of the technology, science, politics etc. which enables one to penetrate their vision on to the real world by understanding everything that comes into play in their life as they grow. Besides, academics is important in one’s life as it decides the career path of an individual or student based on their interest in the field of their choice. Therefore, it helps an individual to understand all the subjects and wisely interpret that which is most suitable for them for they have an excellent understanding in that field. However, only academics doesn’t help an individual as it can only help with the mental abilities, Sports and artforms build and forge one’s life beyond what academics offers.
Extracurricular activities help students to gain practical skillsets rather theoretical that is mostly offered by academics. These activities are arduous and involve wide range skills to offer students, be it to organize, plan, handle situations, especially repercussions, manage time, act on the circumstance in the activities like performing a skit, a dance, a mime or performing with a musical instrument, sketching or painting etc. which are the artforms that can shape a student’s life. Analogous to what art offers, Sports also offers the same and come under extracurricular activities which maintains the physical fitness of students and also not just the fitness but any form of sport can aspire them to also make a career out of it just like how they can make a career out of the artforms included in the extracurricular activities mentioned before.
In the field of Arts and Sports, we have witnessed many successes and careers like that of Sachin Tendulkar, a cricketer who followed his passion and also influenced millions in India to watch and play cricket. He managed to make the whole country proud by winning the world-cup for India. Such like famous personalities, A.R Rahman, a well-known Music composer, who was not so great with his academics just like Sachin Tendulkar, has won an Oscar which is considered and regarded as a highly prestigious award in the field of Art. There are many career paths in Arts and Sports which are influencing the youngsters of the nation to have chance and make an impact in their fields deriving inspirations from the greats of their field. Therefore, not discarding the fact that these extracurricular activities can facilitate those students who aspire to have a career path in the field of Sports and Arts. With schools cutting funds for extracurricular activities will only hinder the progress and aspirations of such students who have interest in pursuing their careers in them and thus, can have a huge impact on them. Therefore, not just the academics that builds the career for students but also the extracurricular activities along with it can forge their careers as well being equally important in their aspects.
Summarizing my view on the argument, Arts and sports hold equal importance in student’s life just like how important the academics is. Sports and Arts can have a huge impact on those who are interested to pursue their career in these fields. Cutting funds for extracurricular activities like sports and arts and funding the same for the infrastructural development/ repairs of the school building will hinder the progress and growth of those who aspire careers in these and thus can indirectly impede their growth. So, keeping this important consideration schools should have to plan an alternative to fund of the repairs of the school building.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 342, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the brand, they push it towards becoming big names, else they stand no chance to ...
^^
Line 3, column 1376, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ia through the media and communication. However, the private business will work ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 551, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ming the customers, government must take serious and quick actions against those ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, nevertheless, so, then, therefore, thus, as to, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 33.0505617978 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 79.0 58.6224719101 135% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 12.9106741573 178% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3116.0 2235.4752809 139% => OK
No of words: 579.0 442.535393258 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3816925734 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90534594407 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93951543322 2.79657885939 105% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 215.323595506 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469775474957 0.4932671777 95% => OK
syllable_count: 962.1 704.065955056 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 77.6499482473 60.3974514979 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.636363636 118.986275619 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3181818182 23.4991977007 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09090909091 5.21951772744 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0776795199427 0.243740707755 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0258462811066 0.0831039109588 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0200138080514 0.0758088955206 26% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0544577067777 0.150359130593 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0103737997225 0.0667264976115 16% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 14.1392134831 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.8420337079 75% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.22 12.1639044944 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.99 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 149.0 100.480337079 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.