Some people believe that in order to thrive, a society must put its own overall success before the well-being of its individual citizens. Others believe that the well-being of a society can only be measured by the general welfare of all its people.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
I argue that in order for a country to be successful on the many popular metrics measuring success, a mixture of caring for both the individual's well-being and prioritizing the greater society that leads a country to thrive.
There are many countries in today's world that have reached first-world status - meaning that these countries are those that people would deem are successful and thriving. But we must look at the metrics that define these countries as so-called "thriving". There are general metrics commonly used such as the Gross Domestic Product (GDP), average life-span, accessibility to health care, and many others, that provide statistics to show whether these countries are doing well. These metrics are usually done through the census or other methods that gather large amounts of data that provides a general "average". Given that these metrics are "average" based, it removes what we would call "outliers" and would therefore not account for any anomolies at the individual level. For example, if a country's GDP was shown to be favourable to tothe military branch of the economy while there has been protests by groups of individuals, it is clear that, through statistics, the government should continue to fund its military to increase it's GDP and ignore the concerns of the individual. Governments, though, are better able to understand what can help a country to continue it's growth in GDP as it has access to this information unlike ordinary citizens.
However, we must not ignore that governments do not only look at grouped statistics such as GDP to make its decisions about its country and its people. In democratic governments, it is the individuals who are able to sway the members in a government through voting. It is the common philosophy of democracy that allows the individuals to take control and prioritize their needs and politicians and governments understand this as well. It is in their favour, as politicians, to care for the individuals in their society. Without care for the individuals, politicians will not be elected and will therefore not ever be in government to mold society. Additionally, it is the individuals that are part of the workforce which allows a country to continue- individuals are the back-bone of the economy, defense, and health. Without taking care of the individuals, there risks being loss of what makes up a soceity and is therefore not in the best interest of governments to ignore the individuals.
It is through a balance of steering society to continuously be on a prosperous path while caring for the individuals that a country can be successful.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 486, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this metrics' or ''?
Suggestion: This metrics;
...whether these countries are doing well. These metrics are usually done through the census or ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 643, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this metrics' or ''?
Suggestion: this metrics;
...general 'average'. Given that these metrics are 'average' based, it remov...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 880, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... GDP was shown to be favourable to tothe military branch of the economy while the...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, so, therefore, well, while, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.5258426966 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 33.0505617978 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 58.6224719101 92% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2248.0 2235.4752809 101% => OK
No of words: 430.0 442.535393258 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22790697674 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.22977504776 2.79657885939 115% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 215.323595506 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481395348837 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 693.9 704.065955056 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.0180257219 60.3974514979 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.5 118.986275619 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.875 23.4991977007 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.9375 5.21951772744 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241715915484 0.243740707755 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0813168718393 0.0831039109588 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0728653313869 0.0758088955206 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.185619743494 0.150359130593 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0523314299123 0.0667264976115 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 14.1392134831 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 12.1639044944 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 100.480337079 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.