Some people believe that in order to thrive, a society must put its own overall success before the well-being of its individual citizens. Others believe that the well-being of a society can only be measured by the general welfare of all its people.
Society is characterized by the individuals who constitute it. Individual identities combine to form a societal identity as a whole. Thus, the concept of an individual is an integral and inextricable part of the concept of a society. Which is why, I am more aligned to the second argument provided in the question, that well being of a society can only be measured by the general welfare of all its people.
While the overall development and progress of a society is of greater importance, it can only be achieved by enhancing the freedom, liberty and lifestyle of all of it's individuals. If a society is thriving economically, doesn't not mean that the individuals who constitute are benefitting from them. Let me explain this by giving the example of India. India is among the topmost countries in the world in terms of trade and commerce and is regarded as the fastest growing economy in the entire world. While these economic achievements are laudable, it does next to nothing in providing basic necessities to a huge portion of India's population. The hugely unequal distrubution of this wealth among it's people has lead to increased poverty and unemployment. Which is why, eventhough taking a leadership in world economy, one fourth of the Indian population still lives belows poverty line. Such economic progress of the society proves to be of trivial importance if the individuals in the scoiety are not benefitting from it and are not happy.
On the other hand, if emphasis is laid on the individual progress and happiness, then the society will automatically develop as a whole. After all, if everyone is satisfied and progressing, then the society will thrive. This is why more importance is given by the United Nations on the HDI (Human Development Index) rather than the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of any country. While the GDP stands for the economic progress of the country as a whole, it does not account for the development of every individual. But HDI factor encorporates the development of individuals constituting the society plus the entire society as a whole. Countries such a Norway, Finland, Sweden etc. who tend to give more importance to the upliftment of an individual and protecting their rights and freedom tend to have a higher human development index and correspondingly a higher happiness index. A country is said to be progressing if human development goes hand in hand with economic development. In countries like China, where economy is progressing but the citizens are deprived of basic freedom, there is not use of such societal progress if individual progress is hindered. And thus goes the saying, "money cannot buy happiness".
Thus, if the overall success of the society is given preference over individual well being, then the society may thrive economically, but the freedom and well-being of it's individual will be compromised. And since, individuals are the inherent part of the society, depriving them of prosperousness will eventually lead to a decline of the society. But an effort to enhance the well being of every individual will not only lead to better life style and human developement, but will ensure the progress of the entire society. Which is why the general welfare of the people is of paramount importance for the development and well-being of the society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 221, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... If a society is thriving economically, doesnt not mean that the individuals who const...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 586, Rule ID: BASIC_FUNDAMENTALS[1]
Message: Use simply 'necessities'.
Suggestion: necessities
...e, it does next to nothing in providing basic necessities to a huge portion of Indias population....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, may, second, so, still, then, thus, well, while, after all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.5258426966 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 33.0505617978 61% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 58.6224719101 123% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 12.9106741573 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2789.0 2235.4752809 125% => OK
No of words: 549.0 442.535393258 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08014571949 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84053189512 4.55969084622 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04273408782 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.437158469945 0.4932671777 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 905.4 704.065955056 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.3177072015 60.3974514979 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.269230769 118.986275619 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1153846154 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.30769230769 5.21951772744 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.32602790686 0.243740707755 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0934544342037 0.0831039109588 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.119872639933 0.0758088955206 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.240377197387 0.150359130593 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109174941736 0.0667264976115 164% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 100.480337079 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.