Some people believe that in order to thrive, a society must put its own overall success before the well-being of its individual citizens. Others believe that the well-being of a society can only be measured by the general welfare of all its people. Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
In the past, the society is just a group of people, less than 100. because of the small number of participants, sharing opinions and making priority of the society was quite an easy job. however, the clock tick towards the modern era, the definition of society has become quite differed. As the number of participant had dramatically increased, several new issues aroused and one of the hot potato was how could we measure the success of the society. In my opinion, when the general welfare of the society is well structured, we could say that the society has some achievement.
Some opponents contend that when estimating the successfulness of the society, the overall success should be at higher rank than whether each one of the citizens is living a happy life. it seems true, and in the real world those aspect was an important factor. In the 1970s, the most important data of the nation is GDP, which to total amount of money that the nation is earning. when we divide GDP into the population of the nation, we could calculate the average income of the citizen. when the average income is high, we think that the nation is happy and admired those nations.
However, we should lay our eyes upon the word average. The meaning of letting GDP the most important thing is that when there are country A which half of the citizens earn 100 dollars and another half earned 60 dollars, and country B which everyone earns 40 dollars, we conclude that those country A achieved as twice as higher level than country B. however, the unemployed half of country A won’t think that oneself are at same level of another half of country A or even the citizens of country B. thinking about the relative poverty that the less income half will experience, it is difficult to confidently claim that country A is better country.
Today, the most important factor for estimating nation’s success is happiness. To make people happy overall, the nation has the obligation to decrease those relative poverty and to do so, the best way is to give a general welfare of all its people. To people who are significantly poor, the nation could raise a fund to support those families. To people who are feeling relative poverty, the society could give chances to have several experiences that could make oneself stop comparing with other and consider profoundly about one’s happiness. I agree that making everyone in the nation getting same amount of happiness. however, making those gaps smaller is what a better nation should do.
In conclusion, the nation should keep focusing on how they can give their citizens welfare efficiently because the time that people think money is more important than happiness had gone already.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 68, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
... just a group of people, less than 100. because of the small number of participants, sh...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 188, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...y of the society was quite an easy job. however, the clock tick towards the modern era,...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 187, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...of the citizens is living a happy life. it seems true, and in the real world those...
^^
Line 5, column 224, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this aspect' or 'those aspects'?
Suggestion: this aspect; those aspects
...e. it seems true, and in the real world those aspect was an important factor. In the 1970s, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 381, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...nt of money that the nation is earning. when we divide GDP into the population of th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 489, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...late the average income of the citizen. when the average income is high, we think th...
^^^^
Line 13, column 350, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...raise a fund to support those families. To people who are feeling relative poverty...
^^
Line 13, column 632, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ation getting same amount of happiness. however, making those gaps smaller is what a be...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so, well, in conclusion, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.3162921348 194% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 58.6224719101 82% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2270.0 2235.4752809 102% => OK
No of words: 464.0 442.535393258 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89224137931 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64119157421 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54451670258 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 215.323595506 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471982758621 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 711.0 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.3531052761 60.3974514979 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.095238095 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0952380952 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.42857142857 5.21951772744 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126064570306 0.243740707755 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0383856701393 0.0831039109588 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0534774513722 0.0758088955206 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0680739643697 0.150359130593 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0510167846495 0.0667264976115 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.1392134831 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.1639044944 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.38706741573 91% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 100.480337079 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.