Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The author of the subject recommends, to put a benchmark on the teachers' wages based upon their students activities and performances; in this case, they can be motivated to teach better. Although this assumption seems accurate in the first glance, there is a list of presumption all of which can challenged in one way or another. In this essay, I am going to go into the further details to adhere the precision of my objection.
One of the most significant points which renders doubt about this phrase is the dependence of the students' activities to other factors beside the pedagogues' performances. Although the educators' role in the students' performances are undeniable, this chain does not biased to teachers' activities. The lecturers have to be erudite, and have ability to deliver the subject coherently to the students. It is just the initial stage of education, after this the learners have to do additional studies about the subject and review all of them; in order to present well performances. Indeed, this extra activities beside the fundament education chain at school form out of the school`s environment, and there is a lot of factors like, student`s intelligence, family's background, parents educational levels, and educational facilities out of the school which affect the students' performances.
Moreover, if solely academic performance considers as an indicator of the teachers' success and their salaries, they will spur up to knotty dilemma in the training system, which is the training of the one-dimensional students. Because, there is only one indicator systems for students' performance and it is the test. Most of the tests are based upon the basic subjects like mathematics, science or literature; moreover, there is no measure to evaluate the students' artistic or physical activities. In this scenario, the educators' put emphasis just to the basic and fundament materials and overlook to the cultural or artistic activities to prepare the students for the test. Consequently, the students’ education shaped based upon the one-aspect subject, which coverage only scientific matters.
Some people claim that this situation motivates the pedagogues to render well in the class. Maybe it can affect some teachers to present well in the class and increase their incomes, on the other hand the teachers' whose students cannot performance well, will face some knotty problems on the financial aspect of their life. In the hole the teaching is consider as low-income occupation and the teachers suffer the monetary problems. In this case, they will burden more problems.
Putting all above mentioned factors into consideration, the following conclusion can be draw about the topic. The writer's assert cannot be as an utter accrues because, as it depicted, there some defects abate its accuracy.
there is a list of presumption all of which can challenged in one way or another.
there are a list of presumptions, all of which can be challenged in one way or another.
Although the educators' role in the students' performances are undeniable
Although the educators' role ...is undeniable
this chain does not biased to teachers' activities
this chain does not bias to teachers' activities
the educators' put emphasis just to the basic and fundament materials
the educators put emphasis just to the basic and fundament materials
on the other hand the teachers' whose students cannot performance well, will face some knotty problems
on the other hand, the teachers whose students cannot perform well, will face some knotty problems
Sentence: Indeed, this extra activities beside the fundament education chain at school form out of the schools environment, and there is a lot of factors like, students intelligence, family's background, parents educational levels, and educational facilities out of the school which affect the students' performances.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to schools and environment
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to students and intelligence
Sentence: In the hole the teaching is consider as low-income occupation and the teachers suffer the monetary problems.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and consider
Sentence: Indeed, this extra activities beside the fundament education chain at school form out of the schools environment, and there is a lot of factors like, students intelligence, family's background, parents educational levels, and educational facilities out of the school which affect the students' performances.
Error: fundament Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In this scenario, the educators' put emphasis just to the basic and fundament materials and overlook to the cultural or artistic activities to prepare the students for the test.
Error: fundament Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 447 350
No. of Characters: 2309 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.598 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.166 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.811 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 144 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 111 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.526 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.27 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.368 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5