Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The meaningful, lasting, and admirable accomplishments in life, are often the product of long-term hard work and dedication. While actively seeking fame and recognition outright can sometimes garner financial success or popularity, the effects dim as fast as they were brought into existence. Therefore, young people should always be encouraged to pursue long-term success over fame and recognition in the near term.
Long-term, realistic goals are foundational to individual financial stability. Consider two individuals: Larry and Frank. Now, Larry is a long term thinker. When Larry took his first job after graduating from college, he decided to allocate 10 percent of his paycheck to his 401k. Although this was difficult for Larry, and he certainly had to make some sacrifices — he put off buying that Porsche 911 he really wanted for his 30th birthday — by the time he retired at the age of 57, he will have enough money in his 401k to live comfortably, spend time with his grand children, and travel the world with his wife. Frank, on the other hand, upon getting his first job out of school, decided that he could always contribute to his 401k later in life. He enjoyed putting that 10 percent chunk of his paycheck into new jeans, and shoes, and wrist watches. When Frank turned 30, he decided that he really did want that Porsche 911, so he bought it, although he really couldn’t afford it. Fast forward 40 years, and Frank is still working at he ripe old age of 70. This wouldn’t be an issue if he loved his job, but the reality is, he spent so much time and energy pursuing a failed acting career — trying to make it big, quick — that he never got the right work experience to get a secure job. No doubt, the two men in this parable have two lives that are demonstrably different: Larry was able to secure financial success and a stable life through pursuit of a long term goal, while Frank squandered his chances of living a happy adult life through poor financial decisions and myopic behavior.
Some may point out that success and fame can be achieved in the short term, and to much financial gain. In 2010, Rebecca Black became famous overnight with her hit single “Friday.” While this catchy tune hogged the airways and captured the imaginations of every tween wannabe pop-star, it was only a month before it completely fell of the charts. Furthermore, Rebecca Black became somewhat of a pop-culture mockery. It is unlikely that she will ever make another hit single, at least with the same recipe: all beat, high levels of autotune, and no artistic substance or commentary. Her short term thirst for fame failed to secure her a record contract, and therefore long term success.
In summary, children should be encourage to pursue long-term goals, because they yield better, more positive, more stable outcomes. While short term success can be tantalizing, it never lasts.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 81, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
... can be achieved in the short term, and to much financial gain. In 2010, Rebecca B...
^^
Line 7, column 32, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'encouraged'?
Suggestion: encouraged
...cess. In summary, children should be encourage to pursue long-term goals, because they...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 42, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'pursuing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: pursuing
...n summary, children should be encourage to pursue long-term goals, because they yield bet...
^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'if', 'may', 'really', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'while', 'at least', 'in summary', 'no doubt', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.22687609075 0.240241500013 94% => OK
Verbs: 0.13612565445 0.157235817809 87% => OK
Adjectives: 0.108202443281 0.0880659088768 123% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0506108202443 0.0497285424764 102% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0732984293194 0.0444667217837 165% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.104712041885 0.12292977631 85% => OK
Participles: 0.0244328097731 0.0406280797675 60% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.65060170264 2.79330140395 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.022687609075 0.030933414821 73% => OK
Particles: 0.00349040139616 0.0016655270985 210% => OK
Determiners: 0.064572425829 0.0997080785238 65% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0157068062827 0.0249443105267 63% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00523560209424 0.0148568991511 35% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2924.0 2732.02544248 107% => OK
No of words: 496.0 452.878318584 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.89516129032 6.0361032391 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.58838876751 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.338709677419 0.366273622748 92% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.237903225806 0.280924506359 85% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.159274193548 0.200843997647 79% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.112903225806 0.132149295362 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65060170264 2.79330140395 95% => OK
Unique words: 283.0 219.290929204 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.570564516129 0.48968727796 117% => OK
Word variations: 71.7086642682 55.4138127331 129% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6194690265 102% => OK
Sentence length: 23.619047619 23.380412469 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.8172231767 59.4972553346 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.238095238 141.124799967 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.619047619 23.380412469 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.666666666667 0.674092028746 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.94800884956 81% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.21349557522 58% => OK
Readability: 47.4093701997 51.4728631049 92% => OK
Elegance: 1.36912751678 1.64882698954 83% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.309131390228 0.391690518653 79% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.106453939171 0.123202303941 86% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.070462333169 0.077325440228 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.465802860212 0.547984918172 85% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.166167533562 0.149214159877 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119120462896 0.161403998019 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0895149674695 0.0892212321368 100% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.217828192032 0.385218514788 57% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0529814473713 0.0692045440612 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.233026192662 0.275328986314 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0837376138922 0.0653680567796 128% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.4325221239 125% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.30420353982 38% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88274336283 123% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 7.22455752212 69% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 3.66592920354 27% => More negative topic words wanted.
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.70907079646 74% => OK
Total topic words: 8.0 13.5995575221 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.