You have a new job and can no longer attend your regular English class.Write a letter to the English school. In your letter:- describe the situation- explain the problem- say what you would like to happen now that you cannot attend the lesson. Write at le

Essay topics:

You have a new job and can no longer attend your regular English class.

Write a letter to the English school. In your letter:

- describe the situation
- explain the problem
- say what you would like to happen now that you cannot attend the lesson.

Write at least 150 words.

Dear Mr. Smith

I am writing to inform you that I will not continue studying in your educational institution.

I enrolled in your school because I had been told that if my language is improved, I will be able to find a better job. Studying has proven to be a worthwhile endeavor because I have recently been hired by a perspective computer company.

However, there is a problem. The workplace is situated on the outskirts of the city while the school is located in the downtown. So, there is a considerable distance. Moreover, the course that I am participating to is beginning at 8:00 pm on week days; at the same time, my workday is finished at 9:00 pm. Thus, even if I drive to the school fast, the lesson will have been finished by the time I arrive.

Finally, I would like to get a refund. Five hundred dollars was paid for a one year course. I have been visiting it for five months. Therefore, I hope that you could return me at least two hundred dollars. It would be convenient if the money is sent on my credit card within a next week.

Sincerely yours,

Eugene Dubinchuk.

Votes
Average: 6.8 (3 votes)

Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, while, at least

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 7.48453608247 214% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 4.92783505155 122% => OK
Conjunction : 0.0 5.05154639175 0% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.03092783505 132% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 32.9175257732 82% => OK
Preposition: 21.0 26.3917525773 80% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 3.85567010309 52% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 902.0 937.175257732 96% => OK
No of words: 199.0 206.0 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.53266331658 4.54256449028 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.75589349951 3.78020617076 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68986483752 2.54303337028 106% => OK
Unique words: 121.0 127.690721649 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.608040201005 0.622605031667 98% => OK
syllable_count: 279.9 290.88556701 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.13402061856 88% => OK
Article: 3.0 0.824742268041 364% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 1.44329896907 69% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 12.6804123711 110% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 16.3608247423 86% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.168610249 44.8134815571 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 64.4285714286 76.5299724578 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.2142857143 16.8248392259 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.85714285714 4.34317383033 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 2.54639175258 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 7.41237113402 94% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.49484536082 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.94845360825 152% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.121846834932 0.216113520407 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0395977225927 0.0766984524023 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0358898641189 0.0603063233224 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0800481205749 0.12726935374 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0349993115443 0.0580467560999 60% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.0 8.37731958763 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 70.7449484536 105% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 7.45979381443 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.4 8.71597938144 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 7.59969072165 101% => OK
difficult_words: 42.0 41.2886597938 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 8.62886597938 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 8.54432989691 89% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 8.15463917526 86% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Five hundred dollars was paid
Five hundred dollars were paid

on my credit card within a next week.
on my credit card within a week.

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.562 21.0 //some sentences are too short. write more compound or complex sentences.

read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-ielts-general-training-essa…

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 201 250
No. of Characters: 849 1200
No. of Different Words: 121 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.765 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.224 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.6 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 58 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.085 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.641 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5

Hello,

I disagree that I made a mistake in the first case because I was speaking about five hundreds dollars as about one amount thus, I must use singular form of verb.(grammar for CAE and CPE by Hewings page 44, subject-verb agreement) I would like to get a link that will explain me the mistake.

thank you.

The essay e-rater is the advanced module of e-grader, it is grammatically more aggressive, when e-rater sees s, it is expecting a plural verb following. If we consider 'five hundreds dollars' as a unit, yes, we use 'singular', however, the better way would be: 'The mount of five hundreds dollars is paid.' to make it more clear. or simply say: I have paid 'five hundreds dollars'. In IELTS exams, if grammar errors are less than 3-4, it is not an issue. When it is over 4, the examiners will take it serious.