Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work.
How do you think children should spend their free time?
It is said that today’s children have an excessive amount of spare time. Many aver that this time ought to be devoted to studying. The author disagrees with this prospect and below the reasons on which the stance is based will be discussed in details.
To begin with, contemporary offspring has a plethora of free time. In fact, youngsters do not work because children labor is strictly prohibited by the law. Moreover, many parents do not ask their kids to do any housework and the volume of hours that they can spend at school studying is limited as well. Consequently, an average kid has about twelve hours of free time on weekdays and even more on weekends.
However, many state that this free time should not be wasted. Firstly, they point out that the volume of information and knowledge that the young people must absorb while studying at school keeps growing; and not including this data in a curriculum would hurt their prospects in the future. Secondly, there are formative years from two to fifteen when human brain is being formed and studying has a beneficial impact on the process. In other words, devoting more children’s time to education is quite reasonable.
At the same time, it is crucial to remember that formative years are essential not only for learning how to read and count but for acquiring knowledge how to interact with others. In fact, an ability to convey one’s thoughts effectively, to make friends are very important in modern society and those skills are not taught on school lessons, they are gotten playing, chatting and interacting with other people outside school walls. Thus, spending free time on those activities is a necessity as well.
To sum up, nowadays children have a huge amount of leisure time. It seems that this time should be used wisely and be spent on doing school work and on forging social skills.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
This essay just has one question: How do you think children should spend their free time? so the second paragraph is extra. More content should be put on the fourth paragraph to answer the question.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 319 350
No. of Characters: 1499 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.226 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.699 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.388 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.562 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.037 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
When you thought that I have
When you thought that I have finally got how to write essays))))))))))))))
1)Is there a manual about types of topics and how to analyze them? if there is one, please give me a link.
1.1) please, may you write how you analyze this issue. This may really help.
2) About structure of this essay I have a couple of questions.
would be it a good idea to develop an essay like this
2.1) in intro mention: that children have too much time, then that some think they spend to much on leisure activities and that I disagree with the stance.
in the body I give two reasons why I think children should spend their free time interacting and playing games.
2.2)the second structure would be
- in intro mention that children have too much time and that this time should be spent on interaction.
the first body paragraph will be devoted to proving that they have too much time
In the second and the third paragraphs I will give reasons why children should spend their time on having fun.
2.3) in the intro I mention that many think children have too much time, state that I disagree.(I completely ignore the part that devoted to "many think that children should study more")
in the first paragraph state that children have too much time,
in the second and third paragraphs state that children should have fun.
Which structure would work for this essay?
I am looking forward to your response.
I could write tree essays but it seems to be unreasonable. I am sure that with your help I will figure out how to write this type of essays
Thank you.
The issue of the essay is
The issue of the essay is that:
'Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. ' should be treated as one sub topic, while you treated them separately as two sub topics:
Some people believe that children are given too much free time. //one sub topic in one paragraph
They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. //another sub topic in one paragraph
but actually more content (one paragraph or two paragraphs) should be put on the question, which is: How do you think children should spend their free time? like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work.//you can put your second and third paragraphs together as one paragraph, don't need two paragraphs.
para 3: reasons for 'How do you think children should spend their free time?'// your paragraph 4. or we can put it in two paragraphs.
para 4: conclusion
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There is no one pattern covering all topics, but generally most users like 4 paragraphs:
paragraph 1: introduction
paragraph 2: arguments for one side. reason 1, ...reason 2....
paragraph 3: arguments for another side . reason 1, ...reason 2....
paragraph 4: conclusion
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some times if there are two questions or reason 1 and 2 are long in the paragraph 3, we can put in 5 paragraph like this:
paragraph 1: introduction
paragraph 2: arguments for one side. reason 1, ...reason 2....
paragraph 3: arguments for another side . reason 1 or question 1
paragraph 4: arguments for another side . reason 2 or question 2
paragraph 4: conclusion
here 'another side' is the main side we need to argue from the questions like: How do you think children should spend their free time?
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Let us know if you didn't get the point.
Hello,
Hello,
I have not still gotten it, I think.
1) I have wrote this essay and used the same structure but scored well. Is there any differences in topics that I do not notice? http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-ii-ielts-general-training-ess…
2) would it be better if I wrote like this
intro
the first para about how It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age and about punishment that is a necessity that may help them to learn this distinction.
the second para about to what extent I agree?
p.s. Those two topics are look alike to me, may you point at the difference. Thank you.
Eugene.
Look at that topic you
Look at that topic you referred:
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The question 'To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?' doesn't make a new question, just ask you discuss the opinion 'It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.'
so we need to focus on 'It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.'
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while for this topic, it asked a new question: 'How do you think children should spend their free time?', so the focus should be the new question.
The better introduction should be like this:
It is believed that young children are having enough free time at home after finishing their school. Supporters of this opinion, therefore feel that this free time should utilise doing extra home work. However, in my opinion this time should be used keeping a balance between study and other physical activities.
then next paragraph: admittedly, some advantages of studying at free time. ....
then next paragraph: how I think children should spend their free time.
then next paragraph: more about how I think children should spend their free time. (if you have a lot to talk about)
then next paragraph: conclusion.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 10, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun state seems to be countable; consider using: 'many states'.
Suggestion: many states
...and even more on weekends. However, many state that this free time should not be waste...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, well, while, in fact, in other words, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 13.1623246493 144% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 24.0651302605 96% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 41.998997996 112% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1566.0 1615.20841683 97% => OK
No of words: 319.0 315.596192385 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90909090909 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22617688928 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55563386136 2.80592935109 91% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 176.041082164 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.573667711599 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 470.7 506.74238477 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.746243231 49.4020404114 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.875 106.682146367 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9375 20.7667163134 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.25 7.06120827912 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.455990630318 0.244688304435 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146196970498 0.084324248473 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0817422681341 0.0667982634062 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.250978717611 0.151304729494 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0752820641374 0.056905535591 132% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 13.0946893788 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 50.2224549098 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.3001002004 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.4159519038 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.58950901804 97% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 78.4519038076 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.