21 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
In today's progressive and sophisticated world where we live, no one can turn a blind eye to the significant effects of establishing a relationship with people in society. In this regard, some are inclined toward the opinion that having a constructive relationship with others can help them become successful in the future. On the other extreme of the rope, others think that studying hard in school plays a more important role in finding a job. Although both sides take their own positions, personally speaking, I firmly believe that the first group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will cogently explain my reasons to justify my viewpoints.
As the first and paramount reason, communicating appropriately with others develops individuals’ knowledge and expands their horizons surprisingly, which helps them to become prosperous in their future careers. In other words, when people try to interact efficiently with others, they can gain valuable experiences and new insights; consequently, they can use these experiences to find viable solutions to deal effectively with several problems in their jobs and boost their efficiency and proficiency. Take my own experience as a compelling example. When I was a student at a university, I was working at a company simultaneously. Since my professor experienced several disappointed and successful experiments, I tried to make a close relationship with him in order to gain his viewpoints to use them in my future efforts. He taught me how to control the unpredictable chemical process and eventually his points helped me to find innovative methods for chemical production, and my boss promoted my career position with a high-profit salary. Therefore, if I had not communicated with my professor, neither could I improve my job position nor could I gain a lot of money.
The second reason coming to my mind to substantiate my viewpoint is that having a relationship with others can show people's capabilities conspicuously, which leads them to find a job easily. To be more specific, having communicated and interacted with a variety of people and expanded friendships, people will be well-known to the general public and more people will be aware of their abilities. In this situation, they can apply easily for various job opportunities. On the other hand, if educated individuals do not try to make a constructive friendship with others, they cannot display their performance. Thus, others may ignore them and not propose any career in the future. For instance, nowadays, numerous students put a lot of effort to communicate with various manufacturers so as to show them their knowledge and skills. In fact, they want to encourage those managers and persuade them to hire them as a well-equipped engineer for their factories in the future. Therefore, the more people make a relationship with others in society, the more job opportunities they can find.
In conclusion, the ability to communicate with the general public can help people to become successful in their jobs. Not only does having a relationship with others increase individuals' experiences and boost their knowledge, which guarantees their success in their future career, but it also demonstrates their skills to others which can increase their chance to find a deserved job.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 332, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...ships, people will be well-known to the general public and more people will be aware of their ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 784, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... communicate with various manufacturers so as to show them their knowledge and skills. I...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 52, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...on, the ability to communicate with the general public can help people to become successful in...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, well, as to, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 52.1666666667 138% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2786.0 1977.66487455 141% => OK
No of words: 528.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27651515152 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1966639368 2.67179642975 120% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496212121212 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 868.5 618.680645161 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.2801090515 48.9658058833 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.636363636 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.182254456759 0.236089414692 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0608104373263 0.076458572812 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0419917546671 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123101824628 0.150856017488 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0291901354004 0.0645574589148 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 86.8835125448 155% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.