Agree or disagree? Students could receive a better, more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year studying.
In modern life, going to school to study is a requirement for students to do. By doing this, they can have a better success in their future career. Some people said that students could receive a better education if they spend 11 months a year to study. However, I totally disagree with this statement.
To begin with, students shouldn’t study for 11 months in a year because they need to relax. To be more specific, relaxing is a very important process for students to do when they are tired. For example, when I was in high school, there are lots of work that need to be done in a day. At first, I spend about 5 hours in a row trying to finish all of the works, but the result was not very good because I was extremely tired after long hours of studying. When I am tired, I cannot focus and it can be a waste of time. As a result, I start to take some breaks between every 2 hours. Sometimes, I would listen to music or go out to play some sports. After doing these relaxing activities, I actually find out that I can have a better concentration on my studies. This experience can also explain in other situations. When students spend too many times in school, they can not focus during the class. Therefore, schools should not ask students to study for 11 months in a year because students need times to do some relaxing activities and after these activities, they can have a better result in their studies.
In addition, students can have time to discover their interest when they do not need to study 11 months in a year. When students have more free times, they can use it to learn some interests and it might become the major they want to study in university or their future career. Take my friends as an example, he is a home school students, so he always study t home and spend about 6 hours to study each day. Moreover, he will spend the rest of the time to learn knowledges about some computer skills. Eventually, he major in computer in his university and have a job that require some computer skills. Therefore, having free times can provide chances for students to discover their interests. On the other hand, if students spend lots of time only for studying, they can still learn lots of things, but it may be hard for them to find their interests because they are already tired after long tie of studying. In other words, students should not be require to study 11 months in a year because need time to discover and learn their interest and this will help them have a better success in their future career.
Undoubtedly, some people may say that students could receive a more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year to study, because the more they study, the more thing they can learn. However, I think that study for a long time can reduce students’ passion of learning and it can be a waste of time when they do not have the enthusiasm in studying. Therefore, I disagree with the statement show in the prompt.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 347, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...about 5 hours in a row trying to finish all of the works, but the result was not very good...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 352, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'studies'.
Suggestion: studies
...is a home school students, so he always study t home and spend about 6 hours to study...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 957, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'studying'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: studying
...r words, students should not be require to study 11 months in a year because need time t...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, i think, in addition, as a result, in other words, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 29.0 9.8082437276 296% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2410.0 1977.66487455 122% => OK
No of words: 541.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.45471349353 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82280071112 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44402417281 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.380776340111 0.524837075471 73% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 739.8 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5413446081 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.6923076923 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8076923077 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.92307692308 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.337790986862 0.236089414692 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107383732483 0.076458572812 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.131153103814 0.0737576698707 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.286650200559 0.150856017488 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0982721139848 0.0645574589148 152% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.53 10.9000537634 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.38 8.01818996416 80% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.