Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
In this day and age, there are a variety of skills in the schools that students have to learn them if they want to have success in their future job. In many countries, the governments allow the students to study some courses such as art and music in secondary schools, while some others are of the opinion that students should only study in one main school. Despite the advantages of secondary schools for students, I believe that all students should be required to study monolithic in main schools and the reasons for this view are elaborated upon hereunder.
Initially, in today's modern world, art and music have been converted to strong factors in finance issues of developed countries; hence special attention to this subject should be done. Since, in many societies, students are allowed to study art and music in secondary schools, they may not be considered important as other courses in the main schools and the education system might neglect in this field. In addition, due to perfunctory teaching in secondary schools, talented students may not be discovered as their main schools. Therefore, not only students should not be required to study in secondary schools, but also the education systems of countries have a heavy responsibility to provide all furniture to study of students in this area. All in all, due to the low efficiency and lack of reliability of secondary schools, studying art and music in main schools can be more beneficial for students.
Furthermore, another disadvantage of the study in secondary school is the charging that students have to pay for learning art and music. Even though a huge amount of charging is not required for studying these courses, some student may not be able to pay for secondary school. Thus, talented students in art and music will not be capable of show their ability that it can be a negative point for society. In addition, all facilities by low costs for all students should be prepared in schools to discover the fields that they are talented. For example, various types of competitions can be held in the field of art and music in a specific period of time, and private courses could be carried out for selected students. To sum up, based on students financial power, holding the courses for art and music in the main school can make a better position for the students who are not able to pay money for secondary schools.
In conclusion, with all these arguments taken into account, despite the advantages of secondary schools, studying art and music in the main schools due to the more options to choose talented students, and also financial issue for pauper students can be more beneficial.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 640, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...he field of art and music in a specific period of time, and private courses could be carried o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, hence, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2224.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 452.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9203539823 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63309936613 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.41814159292 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 681.3 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 40.8215629294 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.266666667 100.406767564 148% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.1333333333 20.6045352989 146% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 5.45110844103 165% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345953167372 0.236089414692 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.162216553465 0.076458572812 212% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0571970472867 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.252355623406 0.150856017488 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0370858813658 0.0645574589148 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 11.7677419355 143% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.85 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 68.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.