Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family is less important now than it was in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that in this complicated and progressive world where we live, human beings have experienced a dramatic change in every aspects of their life, their family relationships in particular. Every one of us might react differently when being asked about the importance of our extended family and whether they are important to us as they used to be in the past. I strongly hold the opinion that the extended family is not as important as they were in the previous era. To substantiate my points of view, two significant reasons are being explored in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, it is taken for granted that each family consists of an inextricably interconnected web of relationships, the degree of their importance has declined over past few decades. One of the most conspicuous reasons that can be attributed to this decline is that nowadays people are more self-sufficient and self-centered. No more can we observe a situation in which the extended family is a pivotal point and the success and failure of a family is no longer in the hands of anyone but itself. It is apparent to everyone that in the past, people heavily relied to one another not only in terms of psychological issues but also on assortments of other considerations. However, the new generation and most of the people who live in the twenty first century are inclined to stand on their own two feet and to be totally independent even making important decisions. To put it in a more vivid picture, my father once explained that in the past the extended family was at the heart of every gatherings and decision making. For instance, when my parents were about to get married, a meeting was held among all of the relatives in order to evaluate the accuracy of this decision. Conversely, when my I got married, no one interfered in my decision making process and since it was my personal life, they just wished me luck and happiness. Although the extended family of mine is highly respected and very important to me, they did not have the right to dictate their own opinion on me.
Furthermore, with the genesis of technology and the internet in particular, individuals have enjoyed a revolutionary change in their lifestyle, relationship, and means of entertainment. It is apparent that people preferences have also changed thanks to the galloping rate of entertainments everyone being exposed to. No longer do people spend their leisure time with their family member let alone their extended family or distant relatives; instead they are more inclined to surf the net and make themselves occupied with the endless world of the internet. Under such a circumstance in which people have replaced hanging out with their extended family to the technology, it is inevitable that their importance is decreased. To illustrate, in Iranian context, the gathering of extended family especially on various occasions such as the Yalda night-the first day of winter-has been prevalent and its importance was undeniable. During Yalda night, every family gathers together in order to celebrate the beginning of the winter and they have fun talking to each other with special foods being served. However, nowadays people prefer to be alone in this night and congratulate one another through the internet not in person.
In conclusion, having considered the aforementioned reasons into account, I strongly believe that the importance of extended family has pale in comparison to the prevalent thought and perception of todays’ people. During the process of evolvement human beings have been more autonomous and independent; moreover, they have found other ways to spend their free time. In such case the importance of extended family is blurred.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 742, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: twenty-first
... and most of the people who live in the twenty first century are inclined to stand on their ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1107, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...o get married, a meeting was held among all of the relatives in order to evaluate the accu...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, conversely, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, for instance, in conclusion, in particular, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 15.1003584229 212% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 105.0 52.1666666667 201% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3117.0 1977.66487455 158% => OK
No of words: 616.0 407.700716846 151% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06006493506 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98190197535 4.48103885553 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9353517954 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 293.0 212.727598566 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475649350649 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1009.8 618.680645161 163% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 39.1868192801 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.52173913 100.406767564 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7826086957 20.6045352989 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.91304347826 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189322294228 0.236089414692 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0650384992572 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.047500433477 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130397894592 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0130548939158 0.0645574589148 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 11.7677419355 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 143.0 86.8835125448 165% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.