Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the development of technology and media platform, more famous entertainers and athletes have more chances to show up on the TV show or news. In my opinion, fans or other people should not pay too much attention to those people's private lives. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First and foremost, although famous entertainers and athletes need support from their fans and some of their information is reported on certain social media, it does not mean they have to share everything with everyone. Once those celebrities have too much attention from others, they will feel pressure and it may lead them to a mental problem. Consider the entertainers in South Korea, for example. Paparazzi like to follow those idols, actors, actresses, and post their pictures on any kind of media platform to earn money since audiences are curious how actually famous people act in their private lives. Besides this, once those celebrities are under pressure for too long, it may lead them to a tragic end, such as suicide. Thus, people should give more privacy because gossip usually has negative effects.
Moreover, the personal business of celebrities does not have to be famous too, even their jobs make them become famous. The journalists will report the events about popular entertainers or athletes, no matter what they do in public, therefore, their behaviors are important. Whereas it does not mean they should be overseen by the public, they do not need to share everything, including the mistakes they made, in their life with their fans. For instance, Chien-Ming Wang, who was a baseball player in Major League Baseball, had an affair a few years ago. At that time, people judged him very hard. While he was outstanding as an athlete instead of his ethic. It was the business between him and his wife, even his wife decided to forgive him, people still judged him hardly. Thus, people should not invade the privacy of those popular people because they are also human, they need space.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the media, the public should leave celebrities more privacy. This is because famous people are also human, they need space to avoid being focusing too often. Additionally, celebrities do not need to be responsible for their personal affairs to the public.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 600, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...that time, people judged him very hard. While he was outstanding as an athlete instea...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 769, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[3]
Message: The adverb 'hardly' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
...to forgive him, people still judged him hardly. Thus, people should not invade the pri...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, first, if, may, moreover, so, still, therefore, thus, whereas, while, for example, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, kind of, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1947.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 390.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99230769231 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50038918733 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54358974359 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 603.0 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.8333302354 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.35 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.8 5.45110844103 161% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.182611506911 0.236089414692 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0566730731565 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0554259679106 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120886788173 0.150856017488 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0349653049296 0.0645574589148 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.