Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Most of the famous entertainers and athletes have a complicated life. They have to move from one place to other. As a result, they have to live separated from their family. I believe that their audience and fans should respect their privacy and let them concentrate on doing their job. In the following essay, I will explain with two reasons why I think so.
First of all, famous entertainers and athletes spend most of the time traveling around the world doing their job. Paparazzi are continuously trying to make news with their live. This has become in a torture for these persons because they do not have the opportunity to live their own life. Their privacy has been ruined. For instance, my brother in love is a professional soccer player. He plays in the Real Madrid, one of the most famous soccer team of the Spain. He was visiting a restaurant in Miami Beach with my sister and they could not enter to the place because was full of people waiting for interview him. My sister is always telling me that their family do not have any privacy.
Second, famous entertainer and athletes have to dedicate time to practice their job or exercise to achieve an excellent performance. Sometimes they do not have time to do it because they have the pressure of the news. Most of the television channels want to get the premise of the news, and consequently invade the space of these kind of people. For example, about ten years ago, I knew a famous entertainer. He used to work as a comedian in one the most famous shows of the Canadian television. He confessed me that every time he was dressing for the show he had to close the door of his room because many journalists came into his dressing room and did not let dress him. He did not have privacy to prepare himself for the show.
Finally, I strongly believe that privacy is very important in people’s live. Famous entertainer, actors, athletes and people in general deserve privacy because they have families and also, they have responsibilities with their careers.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ain with two reasons why I think so. First of all, famous entertainers and at...
^^
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...s, and consequently invade the space of these kind of people. For example, about ten years...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 676, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ressing room and did not let dress him. He did not have privacy to prepare himself...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, finally, first, if, second, so, for example, for instance, i think, in general, kind of, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1680.0 1977.66487455 85% => OK
No of words: 356.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7191011236 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34372677135 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58572260084 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505617977528 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 534.6 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.0891733169 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.3636363636 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1818181818 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.09090909091 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271723373112 0.236089414692 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0929063596679 0.076458572812 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0785693991036 0.0737576698707 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198781363644 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0414222587828 0.0645574589148 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.8 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.