Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
It is established beyond doubt that privacy has indispensible and paramount importance in personal and social life of every individual. Privacy is like a cocoon which human being needs to take shelter there, defending herself against endless invasions of outer world. As far as I’m concerned, I firmly contend that all entertainers and athletes and other people from different socio-economic class, ethnicity, gender… who are more or less on under spotlight deserve to have more privacy than they have now. In the following paragraphs I will explicate my most discernable reasons.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that when we are sensitive to providing privacy for everyone, even celebrities and other popular people, we are universally revering , privacy per sei , to wit: by respecting the privacy of entertainers and athletes and other famous people ,in a subtle and advising way , we are respecting the privacy of all people. For example whenever, in the midst of a bubbling crowd, encountering a well-known football player or any other well-liked persons, we resist to supplicate them to give us a signature or a selfe we are adhering to not infringe their privacy which should not be violated under any circumstances and by doing so we are recognizing their basic and categorical right that everyone equally deserve to have.
Another reason which deserves some words here is that what is going on the personal life of these famous people and their career life has nothing to do with each other and this should be thoroughly recognized in mobs and their staunch supporters because they are like each of us : human beings, consisted of their own needs and daily chores, their foibles and strengths, their pitfalls and chivalries , their hopes and disappointments…For instance my uncle in the past couple of years was a national champion in track and field team , once he lost one of his kidneys due to a genetic kidney malfunction, he became depressed in his private life and construed this defect as a personal fault because people were no longer praising and honoring him, to wit: people were identifying him with his fame and by losing that, his private life was immensely and awfully affected.
To wrap it up, I highly emphasize that entertainers and athletes deserve more privacy due to the role of privacy in leading a salubrious and balanced social and personal life in the prevailing milieu of invasive and privacy-intruding quality of the modern time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 157, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...brities and other popular people, we are universally revering , privacy per sei ,...
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Line 2, column 179, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...lar people, we are universally revering , privacy per sei , to wit: by respecting...
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Line 2, column 197, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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... universally revering , privacy per sei , to wit: by respecting the privacy of en...
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Line 2, column 279, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...tertainers and athletes and other famous people ,in a subtle and advising way , w...
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Line 2, column 287, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...rs and athletes and other famous people ,in a subtle and advising way , we are re...
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Line 2, column 317, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...us people ,in a subtle and advising way , we are respecting the privacy of all pe...
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Line 2, column 498, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'resist supplicating'.
Suggestion: resist supplicating
...yer or any other well-liked persons, we resist to supplicate them to give us a signature or a selfe ...
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Line 2, column 557, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...e them to give us a signature or a selfe we are adhering to not infringe their pr...
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Line 2, column 677, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
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...er any circumstances and by doing so we are recognizing their basic and categorical right that ...
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Line 3, column 198, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...each other and this should be thoroughly recognized in mobs and their staunch sup...
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Line 3, column 309, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... each of us : human beings, consisted of their own needs and daily chores, their...
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Line 3, column 344, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...ed of their own needs and daily chores, their foibles and strengths, their pitfa...
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Line 3, column 404, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...strengths, their pitfalls and chivalries , their hopes and disappointments…For ins...
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Line 3, column 438, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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...lries , their hopes and disappointments…For instance my uncle in the past couple of...
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Line 3, column 487, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...nce my uncle in the past couple of years was a national champion in track and fi...
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Line 3, column 503, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...the past couple of years was a national champion in track and field team , once ...
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Line 3, column 537, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...tional champion in track and field team , once he lost one of his kidneys due to ...
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Line 3, column 595, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...e of his kidneys due to a genetic kidney malfunction, he became depressed in his ...
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Line 3, column 695, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...onstrued this defect as a personal fault because people were no longer praising a...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, so, well, for example, for instance, more or less
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 29.0 13.8261648746 210% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2079.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 408.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09558823529 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94678961665 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.563725490196 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 659.7 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 20.6003584229 39% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 51.0 20.1344086022 253% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 239.574851299 48.9658058833 489% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 259.875 100.406767564 259% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 51.0 20.6045352989 248% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 7.5 5.45110844103 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.5376344086 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241160688081 0.236089414692 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107325567144 0.076458572812 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0983944119619 0.0737576698707 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155824953532 0.150856017488 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0790018975666 0.0645574589148 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 28.1 11.7677419355 239% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 19.71 58.1214874552 34% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 23.2 10.1575268817 228% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 13.19 10.9000537634 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.23 8.01818996416 128% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 22.4 10.0537634409 223% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.