Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important things people learn are from families.
Since the dawn of humanity, human beings have been curious about the surrounding environment and about learning new things. Nowadays, with the development of technology, there are different sources from which people can learn. In this line of thought, there is a fierce controversy as to whether the most important things that children are being taught are by their family or not. I, personally, believe that family plays a pivotal role in the conveying vital things to children for two main reasons, on which I will elaborate in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, family members are the ones with whom children spend the vast majority of their time, which can both consciously and unconsciously affect children’s social skills. To be more specific, the family environment is the first place where kids learn how to interact with people surrounded them. Needless to say that social skills are of vital importance on children’s academic and professional success in the future. Statistics have shown that children brought up in a sociable family are more socially interactive than those reared in an isolated family. To put it another way, the more extroverted the family, the more communicable and sociable children will become during their adulthood. My own experience is compelling evidence to put it into perspective. I was born in a friendly family that were fond of interacting with relatives and neighbors. As I was growing up, I learned to be more and more sociable from my family, resulting in a sharp rise in my self-confidence. Several years later, when I entered workforce, my colleagues and supervisors admired me due to my intrinsic managerial skills. I owe this unique trait to my family. Had they not been such sociable, I would not have been able to get promoted to a senior at my workplace.
Secondly, children often seek role models to imitate their behaviors, and the first people they run into are the family. To elucidate this, kids are extremely inclined to have a hero in their lives and to follow in their footsteps. Therefore, not only are children’s personalities unintentionally formed based on parent’s behavioral characteristics, but they also may have a tendency to be similar to their families. Recently I read an article in a major newspaper which pointed out that neither classmates nor friends are more efficacious in the children’s mental growth than family are. For example, when I was a child, my father had become my hero so much so that I would imitate the way he ate, spoke, and even wore. Today, everyone meeting us marvels at extraordinarily behavioral resemblance that exists between us. This example demonstrates how effective the family is in the shaping an individual’s personality and in the teaching important things.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that families teach the most paramount things to people. This is Because individuals spend the preponderance of their time in the company of families, and because parents are the first role models and shape children’s personalities.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 283, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
... thought, there is a fierce controversy as to whether the most important things that children...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, as to, for example, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 15.1003584229 185% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2567.0 1977.66487455 130% => OK
No of words: 499.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14428857715 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04517046491 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.539078156313 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 812.7 618.680645161 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.7895080839 48.9658058833 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.958333333 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7916666667 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1797901678 0.236089414692 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0545665802833 0.076458572812 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0599836724406 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125198386358 0.150856017488 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0711201231895 0.0645574589148 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 86.8835125448 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.