Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job?
I assume life is hard, really hard. People must be so powerful to be happy in their life. One of the most periods of life is adulthood. There are many ways to be happy in life when someone passes the adult era. To be powerful in life, people must expand their experience in childhood and adolescence. Some people presume that one of the best ways to help their children is to take a part-time job when they are a teenager. In contrast, others do not agree with them. From my perspective, I agree with the claim and I think one of the best ways is to take a part-time job for two main reasons.
First, teenagers experience harsh conditions and because of the circumstances, they will make a good future. For example, I vividly remember when I was a child my father suggested me to take a job. He believed that a teenager must work to obtain his niche. I did so and I used to work at a restaurant as a counter in holidays. I went to work from 7 am to all-day at 10 pm. I always had to do the math. I slept scarcely rather than my peers which did what they wanted at that time. I no longer work in a restaurant but the work has had its effects on me. Due to those hard situations, now, I undergo every hard circumstance.
Second, when a teenager works, he will care about his money. Indeed, in adulthood, he has enough experiences because he has worked before. For example, when my brother was a child, he worked a lot in many various places like supermarket, bank, bus station, and so forth. He knew that he must not spend his money on worthless things. He must care about both his money and his time. In other words, he looks at every problem and the first topic entailed his mind was an economical matter. Now, he has become one of the most important economics consultants of the ministry of economics. He has become a successful person because he has passed many situations with a string of hardship.
To wrap up, our characteristic is made according to our past experiences. So, everyone must undergo hard situations like taking a part-time job. Because it not only makes people powerful, it also makes people care about their money.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a part-time job for two main reasons. First, teenagers experience harsh condit...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 379, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... to work from 7 am to all-day at 10 pm. I always had to do the math. I slept scar...
^
Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... at 10 pm. I always had to do the math. I slept scarcely rather than my peers whi...
^
Line 3, column 488, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ich did what they wanted at that time. I no longer work in a restaurant but the ...
^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...w, I undergo every hard circumstance. Second, when a teenager works, he will c...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...situations with a string of hardship. To wrap up, our characteristic is made a...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 62, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experiences'.
Suggestion: experiences
...characteristic is made according to our past experiences. So, everyone must undergo hard situati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, really, second, so, for example, i think, in contrast, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1747.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 395.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.42278481013 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60418358644 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.506329113924 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 558.0 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.6954431256 48.9658058833 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 62.3928571429 100.406767564 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.1071428571 20.6045352989 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.46428571429 5.45110844103 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22310370954 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0631044719672 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0852362209917 0.0737576698707 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141830624066 0.150856017488 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.138867629539 0.0645574589148 215% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.4 11.7677419355 54% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 58.1214874552 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.76 10.9000537634 71% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.05 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.