Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people.
Well it is true that these days’ media has been trying to ingratiate themselves with affluent people, most importantly famous people like famous singers, actors and actress. Despite flaws that these medias have received, they are still doing the same thing as always. As far as I concern, media’s concentration on famous people is the result of people’s covetousness and medias greediness toward making money out of it.
The first aspect to mention is, people persuade medias for more detail about their favorite famous person; as a matter of fact, those media employ professional photographers in order to capture pictures of famous people’s lifestyle, in other word, nothing should be left outside of their lens. For example, photographers go beyond the limitation and enter to famous people’s privacy to find their wealth, such as their enormous house and luxury cars in it. Meanwhile medias are searching for their relationship with people even should they find relationship between two famous people like a basketball player and a actress, tomorrow surprising news will focus on that.
Another thing that should be taken into consideration is, media focus on famous people in order to make more money than before. If they have flabbergasted news about famous people like their recent engagement then more people will buy their newspapers or will look at their webpages, consequently their rank will be updated easily. Moreover, some of these medias arrange an interview with famous people, at the same time they post hot news about that interview frequently or post a video related to the interview on their website; therefore, more people visit they sites and subscribe as a member for hot news. These technics can motivate sponsors in addition to people, so they can finance medias by building more satellites and more stations for better and more news, also, they can discredit other opponents by their increasing circulation.
In conclusion, it’s a specialized and sophisticated arrangement which claims that medias such as newspapers and televisions are working on their own to provide more news about celebrities and their private life to catch more people attention. Not only does money intensify their avarice personality, but also people encourage them to do that.
Comments
A noun, plural, common is not
A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
i think these are my major problems on my writing. is it true?
and can you give me an example of each? because i cannot understand what you really mean by saying these errors.
what will be my score if i remove all these grammatical mistakes? would it be 30?
A noun, plural, common is not
A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
i think these are my major problems on my writing. is it true?
and can you give me an example of each? because i cannot understand what you really mean by saying these errors.
"A noun, plural, common is
"A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common" means that don't put two nouns parallel:
medias greediness
media's greediness
people attention
people's attention
"A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common" means we need to pay attention to singular or plural nouns or verbs.
more people visit they sites
more people visit the sites //here e-rater is expecting a plural verb following 'they', but it is a singular verb (suppose 'site' is a verb).
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You may reach 24-25 if you can remove all errors. You have grammatical errors here or there. Double check grammar issues after essay writing.
Despite flaws that these medias have received
Despite the flaws that these medias have received
Sentence: As far as I concern, media's concentration on famous people is the result of people's covetousness and medias greediness toward making money out of it.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to medias and greediness
The first aspect to mention is, people persuade medias for more detail
The first aspect to mention is that people persuade medias for more details
in order to capture pictures of famous people’s lifestyle
in order to capture the pictures of famous people’s lifestyle
enter to famous people’s privacy to find their wealth, such as their enormous house and luxury cars in it.
Description: 'it' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
for their relationship with people
for their relationships with people
Sentence: Moreover, some of these medias arrange an interview with famous people, at the same time they post hot news about that interview frequently or post a video related to the interview on their website; therefore, more people visit they sites and subscribe as a member for hot news.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and sites
Sentence: In conclusion, it's a specialized and sophisticated arrangement which claims that medias such as newspapers and televisions are working on their own to provide more news about celebrities and their private life to catch more people attention.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and attention
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 365 350
No. of Characters: 1875 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.371 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.137 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.648 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.012 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.413 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5