Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the advent of modernization, media has pervade many aspect of our daily life. It is utterly important to appreciate it's advantages, However, the disadvantages are overcome the good onse. Although some people hold the viewpoint that the advertisement aimed toward kids are not bad. However, some others hold a different viewpoint, and insisted on that any advertisement directed to the kids should not be permitted. My personal experience and actual observation of life have led me to agree that, no advertisements should be allowed to affect our kids' mind. In the following paragraph, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.
The first most important reason is that, the advertisement may increase burden on parents and cause emotional distortion, if they will not be able to fulfill their kids' demands. Since most of kids when they watched the advertisement, they will start to force their parents to buy them the product. For example, I remember one time we were sitting to have dinner with family. Then there was that advertisement regard Sponge Bob cartoon's products like (pencils, stories, copybooks, clothes) my little brother started to cry asking to buy all these merchanties. Unfortunately, my dad was unable to afford buying all these materials, but my brother was a kid, and he underestimate the situation.
Another reason which deserve some words, advertisements directed toward kids at this one to five, might affect their behaviors and notions. They are immature and will not be able to absorb the idea behind the advertisements. For instance, back to my little offspring, every time he was watching superman, transformers and others, he started to imitate what they are doing. One day, he was trying to tie his neck and jump from the ladder in an attempts to fly like a superman. Thankfully, I was there at the exact time to save his life. because, he was about to suffocate of tying his neck, and he might broke his bones by trying to jump. So, watching these advertisements have affected his imagination and lead him to experience aggressive behavior. When he watches transformers, he started to hate himself, thinking that he is weak and unable to practice their movements.
In a nutshell, judging all what I have mentioned above, taking all factors into considerations, I reinforce my idea that advertisements directed toward kids at age 2-5 are not supposed to be announced on T.V in front of children, because of their roles in affecting the family budget and changing our kids way of thinking with themselves.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 45, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'pervaded'.
Suggestion: pervaded
... the advent of modernization, media has pervade many aspect of our daily life. It is ut...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 53, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: 'many aspects'.
Suggestion: many aspects
...ent of modernization, media has pervade many aspect of our daily life. It is utterly import...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 193, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...sadvantages are overcome the good onse. Although some people hold the viewpoint that the...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 479, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ence and actual observation of life have led me to agree that, no advertisements ...
^^
Line 3, column 184, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the kids') or simply say ''most kids''.
Suggestion: most of the kids; most kids
...le to fulfill their kids demands. Since most of kids when they watched the advertisement, th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 600, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to buy'.
Suggestion: to buy
...ortunately, my dad was unable to afford buying all these materials, but my brother was...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 661, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'underestimates'.
Suggestion: underestimates
...rials, but my brother was a kid, and he underestimate the situation. Another reason which de...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 440, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an attempt' or simply 'attempts'?
Suggestion: an attempt; attempts
...ie his neck and jump from the ladder in an attempts to fly like a superman. Thankfully, I w...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 536, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...ere at the exact time to save his life. because, he was about to suffocate of tying his...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 206, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: V
...5 are not supposed to be announced on T.V in front of children, because of their ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, so, then, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2123.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 421.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04275534442 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99307769922 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.548693586698 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 664.2 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.1871764223 48.9658058833 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.15 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.05 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.25 5.45110844103 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.123581709978 0.236089414692 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0391411194556 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0439582623309 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0870699348988 0.150856017488 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0413223209117 0.0645574589148 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.