Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Please help me correct this essay! Thank you!
advertising is ubiquitous in our daily life and has subliminally affected many people's shopping preferences. Defying questions about its authenticity and credit, it does facilitate our daily life to some extent concerning the time we save on choosing the proper commodity out of manifold products, since these companies which capitalize heavily on the advertisement tend to be more capable of producing high-quality goods. Disturbingly it is not true of advertisement focused on the young children. The differences of mental and physicals conditions between the young and the adults may stand as a cogent factor to reject these advertisements in terms of the irreversible consequences they may spell on the vulnerable children.
First and foremost, it's disreputable that children are too naive to discern things they really need, in this sense they may be driven by these seemingly eye-catching advertisements, begged their parents and clamor to buy things unnecessary at all. The financial burdens foisted on the parents accordingly will definitely intensify the tensions of the family, especially for these young and newly-wed couples. Besides this, these advertisements may urge children to eat junk food and these food could be exceedingly debilitating, and thus do damages on their bodies at their most flourishing age. this kind of accidents just happened on my nephew, who is only 4 years old, however, under the temptations of advertisements for fried-chicken, he has gained surprising weights in several months and proved to be unhealthy on account of over intake of fat.
Furthermore, these advertisements can serve as a tool to jolt children into buying exorbitant clothes or shoes to boast with their friends. children are susceptible and credulous for they are too young to gain the ability of self-discipline and are easily entrapped themselves with the vicious spiral of pursuing brands blindly. The rapidly increasing figure of luxury clothes dressed on children exemplify the fact they are outright devoid of self-control ability and may subject readily to the lures. this trend may deteriorate if parents have no means to refuse their children's persistent requests.
To illustrate, advertisements do enable us to buy favorable goods without the hassle of comparing everything tediously before purchasing, but their positive influences are mainly on mature and clear-minded groups. When it comes to advertising directly towards children, we can not assure that these advertisements would not hamper the natural and healthy growing process of children and lead them astray.
In a nutshell, blemishes encompassed within advertisements towards children reinforce the idea that it is detrimental for the family and may cause severe consequences h if we permit their circulations. Based on these statements mentioned before, I want to reiterate my standpoint that by no means should advertisements directly towards children be allowed.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Advertising
advertising is ubiquitous in our daily life and has...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 484, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this food' or 'these foods'?
Suggestion: this food; these foods
... may urge children to eat junk food and these food could be exceedingly debilitating, and ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 597, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...r bodies at their most flourishing age. this kind of accidents just happened on my n...
^^^^
Line 3, column 141, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Children
...s or shoes to boast with their friends. children are susceptible and credulous for they ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 504, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...y and may subject readily to the lures. this trend may deteriorate if parents have n...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, besides, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, really, so, then, thus, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2500.0 1977.66487455 126% => OK
No of words: 452.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.53097345133 4.8611393121 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.22151243612 2.67179642975 121% => OK
Unique words: 270.0 212.727598566 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.597345132743 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 770.4 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 59.9124361047 48.9658058833 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 156.25 100.406767564 156% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.25 20.6045352989 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174254075413 0.236089414692 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0649639768685 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0444284030111 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107168792026 0.150856017488 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0299991359817 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 11.7677419355 159% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 58.1214874552 60% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 10.1575268817 152% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.09 10.9000537634 138% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.85 8.01818996416 123% => OK
difficult_words: 138.0 86.8835125448 159% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 10.002688172 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.247311828 156% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.